Optional Characters
by Vestergaard
Summary: Cloud and company never find Vincent and Yuffie during the course of the game. What happens when Yuffie is the one to crack the secret message and find Vincent? A Yuffentine, of course!
1. Materia Hunter

Disclaimer: Brought to you by...Vash the Stampede from Trigun!

GMHY: "Vash, do I own FFVII?"  
Vash: "Yes." (eats a donut)  
GMHY: (growls, grabs the donut and eats it) "Do I?"  
Vash: (starts to cry) "My...my donut..."  
GMHY: "Oh, sorry." (gives him another)  
Vash: "This is really good! Dunkin dunkin! GMHY doesn't own FFVII!"  
GMHY: "Good job!"  
Vash: "Love and Peace!"

Optional Characters

By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie

Chapter 1: "Materia Hunter"

The greatest ninja alive, aka Yuffie Kisaragi, had one mission and one mission only - to find and 'accumulate' (through various 'machinations') the most wonderful materia on the Planet. Once 'accumulated,' that materia would help Wutai overthrow the ShinRa Electric Power Company to become a great warring nation once again.

Unfortunately, Meteor and AVALANCHE already pretty much overthrew freaking ShinRa.

And after two years free of ShinRa, Wutai was still a freaking tourist trap.

Two years ago, Meteor fell on all of ShinRa's stuff in Midgar and the whole Planet went through a great depression. Gil was worth nil, or at least worth less than a peso. Without ShinRa to be their government, people went back to bartering for things. Wutai was taking advantage of things by supplying necessities to other countries for items and services. No one in Wutai except for Yuffie was even interested in abandoning the tourism trade or increasing the military because it didn't seem necessary. Everyone in the world was still just trying to rebuild their lives to some semblance of normalcy.

That wasn't good enough for Yuffie. She would never rest until she saw Wutai become the great nation it once was. Having powerful materia was the best way to go about it.

Everyone who knew anything knew that AVALANCHE had the best materia in the world. This was why Yuffie was going to steal AVALANCHE's Huge Materia from Cosmo Canyon!

Yuffie was a fun-loving eighteen-year-old materia hunter/thief/ninja who loved to fight. She wore a green turtleneck without sleeves, an armor piece on her left shoulder with a long sleeve/shield that ran down the length of her arm. She had tan shorts, armored leggings on her left leg and orange tennis shoes that screamed 'teenager.' She had short black hair and gray eyes and carried a shuriken with her at all times in case she came upon some hapless traveler with too much gil on his hands.

Yuffie Kisaragi was also short, which explains why she was perched on a giant tree south of Cosmo Canyon. She was staring at the town through binoculars with her legs folded nimbly around a thick branch, humming the latest pop song softly to herself.

The plan would be dangerous, but that was no problem for the Great Ninja Yuffie.

Yuffie made a face, scanning the perimeter of the town and spotting a great deal more guards than she'd envisioned.

Well, not too much of a problem. She _was_ really, really good at sneaking around.

The real danger in infiltrating Cosmo Canyon, she knew after buying some bozos drinks at Gongaga, was not the guards. Leviathan knew that she was good enough to take down a bunch of crappy guards. Unfortunately Red XIII, a member of AVALANCHE, was guarding the canyon as well. She would have to avoid him at all costs if she wanted to get at the Huge Materia.

Yuffie had very little info on Red XIII. All she knew was that he was a giant lion or something that talked and used hair clips as weapons. Sounded easy enough to her, if she ever had to fight him, but the ninja was most afraid that the entire powerful AVALANCHE crew would come down on her butt if they ever figured out who stole their Huge Materia. Better to just remain anonymous.

"What they won't know won't hurt them..." she made up new words to the pop song that was stuck in her head.

She did a flip down to the ground, startling her blue chocobo, who warked uncomfortably.

"Sorry, Chubs," Yuffie cooed at him. She had stolen him from Choco Billy's a few years back, and he'd been her loyal companion ever since.

Chubs pecked a little at the ground as Yuffie petted him. "Well, are we gonna go steal the materia or what"

The chocobo merely stared at her for a second. Yuffie grinned, ruffling his cerulean feathers. "Why am I talking to a fatty like you, anyway"

She put the binoculars in a side pack and mounted swiftly, kicking her mount in the ribs and whooping a war cry. Chubs warked and slowly began to shuffle towards Cosmo Canyon.

"You always go so slow!" Yuffie complained. "Hurry up, you freaking chubby beast"

Chubs meandered into a more ground-eating gait and Yuffie settled back comfortably. Smirking, she rubbed her palms on her muddy boots and wiped her face with them. She wiped her boots the same way on her clothes and Chubs as well.

"Sorry I'm gettin' you all dirty, Chubs, but this is all a part of my master plan." Yuffie shifted her clothes around haphazardly and made her best 'sad and in bad straits' faces, then nodded happily.

"They don't know what they're in for."

* * *

The guard stationed at the opening of Cosmo Canyon was having a relatively uneventful evening when he heard a pitiful warking sound coming out of the darkness not pierced by the Cosmo Candle. He took a hesitant step forward and jumped when a blue chocobo with a large bundle on its back stumbled into the firelight. The bundle fell off his back with a heavy thump.

The warrior made his way toward the bundle and poked it with a spear butt. He jumped when a thin arm emerged from the bundle and clawed the air in a very dramatic way.

"Help...I need...help..." the bundle moaned plaintively.

"Who are you" the guard demanded, somewhat uncertainly.

A black-haired and dirt-covered face poked out of the bundle of wrappings along with the arm. "I'm just a traveler. Me and my chocobo haven't had food in days. Please, can we stay here"

The warrior shrugged. "That's fine. Cosmo Canyon is open to all peaceful visitors. If you'd just follow me, I'm sure that we can find you some room at an inn."

The man walked off, not looking back to see if she would follow. Yuffie sat up indignantly and looked at Chubs. "I didn't think they'd be so friendly."

Chubs didn't answer and looked mildly bored with the proceedings. He looked at a shrub, trying to decide whether it was enough like a mimmet green to eat. Yuffie glanced back and forth from the chocobo to the rather inviting bonfire in the center of the town.

"Well, whatever"

She jumped to her feet, grabbed the chocobo's reins, and followed the man toward the warmth of Cosmo Canyon.

* * *

The strange man felt himself come back to consciousness. He did not open his eyes, but he felt the awareness of extremities and attentiveness to his mental processes that were not present during his sleep.

He smelled decaying things, wood and bones, damp walls and insects. Things scuttled around the small room, probably rats, and water dripped steadily from some forgotten faucet.

Years and years _locked in a coffin_.

He thought about that for a moment.

Well, maybe not _locked_.

It probably wasn't locked. Hojo would have enjoyed that kind of irony. That the strange man could just kick open the lid of the coffin and walk out of the mansion forever without any kind of restraint. Quite ironic.

Of course, if that were that simple, he would have left years ago. But locks were not what kept him ensnared in the pit.

His thoughts shifted and he considered the dark patterns of his dreams. They were nightmares, but he had long since lost all fear of them. He knew what the real nightmare was...and it was not found during sleep.

Chaos seemed to stretch in his skull, clawing his frontal lobes comfortably like a cat. The strange man's right hand twitched.

_Did you have a restful nap? _it inquired, its inhuman voice rasping and sarcastic_. We wouldn't want you to get sick._

The strange man tried for the thousandth time to ignore the demon.

_Your dreams were interesting...they have been different lately, _Chaos resumed, not troubled by the lack of conversation. _It has been two years since the end of the world. I am so amused that you are still down in this godforsaken basement. Everyone that you've ever known is either senile or dead. Why do you continue this idiotic, dramatic penance of yours?_

The strange man felt himself drifting back to sleep.

_I do not know why. I cannot seem to make myself move, _the strange man answered.

The strange man opened his eyes for the first time in years. There was no light to see with, nothing to prove that his eyes _were_ open, except for the languid air drifting between his spread eyelashes.

_I know why. _The dark force seemed to grin inside the strange man's eye sockets.

This conversation between the two dread apparitions had ensued before, hundreds of times before. Chaos had always been a part of him, it seemed. The strange man remembered that first and horrible waking, and feeling Chaos inside his mind, toying with his brain. Where Hojo had found the essence of Chaos, why he had placed it inside the strange man's brain, and what it was meant to accomplish - these motivations of Hojo's were not to be exposed, or even thought about too often. What was left was the reality of the situation, or more the _unreality _- as was said before, he was more or less trapped _inside a coffin in a secret laboratory in the basement of a haunted mansion_.

And he had no way, or more precisely, no _desire_ to attempt escape.

It might have been Hojo's doing, but there was something that kept the strange man inside the coffin, just as surely as if he were restrained by steel.

_The memory of a weak-willed woman!_

The strange man closed his eyes against Chaos' malignant laughter and let the nightmares take him once again.

* * *

AN: Well, thanks a lot for reading the first chapter! I appreciate it. If you could review and tell me what you think, I would appreciate that, too. But of course, you don't have to. Only on an "I must review!" sort of basis. I don't believe in commanding reviews out of people. Just remember that this story is supposed to be what would happen if Yuffie and Vincent were never found by Cloud and the gang during FFVII, so both of them don't know anyone from AVALANCHE. And have fun with the rest of it. 


	2. Really Huge Materia

Disclaimer brought to you by...Inuyasha from, well, Inuyasha!

GMHY: "Sooo...does FFVII belong to me?"  
Inuyasha: "No, and it ain't ever gonna' be yours, so quit dreamin'!"  
GMHY: "But maybe, someday, when I buy out Microsoft..."  
Inuyasha: "You're just hopeless and pathetic!"  
GMHY: "Well you have terrible grammar!"  
Inuyasha: "Shuddup."  
GMHY: ;; "Okay."

Optional Characters

By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie

Chapter 2: "Really Huge Materia"

Yuffie opened her eyes, getting them adjusted to the surrounding darkness. She curled up inside her bedroll and peered around. Even though the inn was really expensive, she had bought a room and took a bath because she stank like a chubby blue chocobo. Infiltrating from the inside was also part of her ingenious plan.

She slipped out of the covers and went to the door. She heard nothing outside.

Yuffie reviewed her plan in her head. The huge materia were kept in Bugenhagen's old house at the very top of the canyon. She knew the way there because she had wandered around during the day. She even saw the presentation about the planet's life energy, which was really boring. Yuffie would have slept through it, but the huge materia floating around the Planet were very interesting.

Basically, she had realized that Cosmo Canyon didn't have any freaking defenses at all. The weapons dealer didn't sell good weapons, only cheap knock-offs. Even the AVALANCHE member, Red XIII wasn't there. They said he was out on patrol or something. This was very good for Yuffie. All she had to do was sneak her way in there, grab the materia, and run off before she got caught. If not, she would get away somehow. She always did.

She walked confidently into the hallway, knowing that nothing was more suspicious than someone who was sneaking. Sneaking was only useful if there was a good chance of not getting noticed in the first place. In this instance, however, it was better to get noticed, and then forgotten quickly.

The teenager said a quick prayer to Leviathan as she made her way. She felt a mad impulse to giggle but stomped on it.

No one saw the teenage ninja turtle, I mean, teenage ninja Yuffie as she walked through town and climbed the ladders on her way to the huge materia. She picked the lock on Bugenhagen's house and slipped inside. Yuffie paused for a breath to make sure the house was empty before she padded silently through the halls, hunting like an awkward, skinny cat.

She came to the small circular room that housed the presentation and the huge materia. Yuffie hooked the switch and the platform moved up to the correct level.

The ninja clapped her hands and danced a little jig. The plan was easy, but with a town full of idiots guarding the most powerful materia in the world, it was a wonder that no one had stolen them before. That thought gave her pause and she squinted at the very large materia before her.

"Why hasn't anyone stolen you before, if it's this easy?"

Yuffie never talked to herself. She only talked to materia. So be quiet.

Anyways, she just shrugged and stuffed the huge materia in a sack, slinging it over her shoulder. Yuffie kicked the switch and jumped off the platform before it came to a stop on the floor again. She ran out of the house, remembering to lock it on the way. As she turned around, a voice spoke quietly behind her.

"Who are you and what were you doing in my grandfather's house?"

Shock and adrenalin ran through Yuffie's system and she turned toward the source of the voice, which she realized was a giant talking lion. The only light to see with was coming from a flame on the creature's tail, but she could tell that it was quite large enough to eat her.

Yuffie froze in place. "Uh, hello! Nice kitty!"

"I will ask you only once again. Who are you?" the words were formed so strangely on the feline lips that Yuffie's eyes went even wider.

She cursed at herself inwardly. Outwardly, she stuck a big grin on her face. People found it hard to attack grinning teenagers. She just hoped it would work on talking lion-people!

"Um, my name's Yuffie Kisaragi! Are you Red XIII? I've been waiting around for you to come back! I've always wanted to meet you! All the members of AVALANCHE are my heroes!"

Red XIII took a few steps toward Yuffie and growled, "You are lying! That door was locked and you have stolen the huge materia!"

Yuffie's face went from adoration to annoyance in a split second. "Yeah, and it wasn't even hard! You should put a freaking better lock on your door at least!"

Yuffie gripped the bag of huge materia and slung it at the giant cat just as he was leaping forward. Red XIII ducked the bag, but it had given Yuffie enough time to jump onto the roof of his house. She crouched there, reaching inside the bag of huge materia. It was the most powerful materia in the world; she figured she should use it if she was going to have any chance of defeating a member of AVALANCHE.

Red XIII immediately cast a spell. For a second, nothing happened and Yuffie was going to laugh at him, but then she looked up toward a sharp, thundering sound. Her eyes widened as three gargantuan comets came hurtling down at her. She managed to croak "Wall" and closed her eyes for the impact that would surely kill her. A giant barrier appeared between Yuffie and the doom comets and they smashed against it futilely.

Yuffie grinned and pulled out her shuriken. "That the best you got, kitty?"

She threw the large ninja star to distract him as she jumped off the roof toward the ladder.

The cat beast almost dodged it, but got clipped on his left forearm. He growled in exasperation and leaped, claws bared, at the ninja. She stopped short when she got to the ladder. Red XIII was almost to her when she unleashed a powerful fire attack that engulfed the feline and almost caught his house on fire. The young ninja peered into the flames, but couldn't see Red XIII anywhere.

Suddenly, she felt a tearing pain slice into her left arm. Red XIII tore through the fabric of her armored sleeve and scored a long gash into her arm. The ninja stepped back in shock, feeling blood soak her hand.

"I do not want to kill a human. Give the materia back!" the feline growled loudly.

Yuffie smiled suddenly. "No way, kitty!"

At that moment the shuriken came whizzing back to Yuffie, heading toward Red XIII.

The giant lion dodged it and Yuffie caught it with her injured hand.

"See you later!" Yuffie flipped into the hole with the ladder and landed at the bottom unscathed.

She ran very fast, jumping from platform to platform, not bothering with the stairs. The whole town had been awoken by the Comet spell and people were milling around in confusion. Yuffie heard Red XIII shouting behind her. Suddenly, she was in the center of town and looking up at the very angry warrior protecting the gate.

"Out of the way, fatty!" she cried. The big man swung his large sword down on top of her head, but she scuttled out of the way and hit him in the face with the bag of huge materia. While he was recovering, she broke into a run, whistling for her chocobo as she went.

Chubs broke away from his tether and ran to his mistress. She mounted him and kicked him hard in the withers. Yuffie reached into the bag of materia tricks once more and grabbed one at random, the green one. She turned in the saddle and yelled, "Sleepel!"

The spell took effect and the people behind her slumped to the ground, sleeping.

Satisfied, Yuffie urged the chocobo to go faster.

Yuffie felt a cold shiver and looked behind once again. She saw Red XIII in the distance casting another spell and gasped when the specter of death came shooting after her. He eased alongside the girl and her chocobo, grinning scull and black tatters blending into the surrounding darkness.

Yuffie froze in panic as the specter slowly lifted his scythe and cut down into her.

She felt the life drain out of her and slumped forward onto Chubs. The specter vanished, the spell complete.

Her eyes closed.

* * *

The smell of death and rotting wood welcomed him back into the waking world.

For once, the strange man began the conversation.

_Did you have a good nap?_

_No. Your dreams are infinitesimally boring._

A pause.

_I wonder why I must endure this tedious fate._

The strange man did not answer. Chaos gripped the strange man's gray matter with ethereal claws and squeezed.

The strange man's body jerked spasmodically. The nerves along his legs screamed in protest.

_I could make you move out of this coffin. I think I shall._

The strange man opened his eyes. "No."

Chaos began to scream in frustration as the strange man cut off the demon's access to his neurons. The lesser demons that Hojo trapped inside the strange man's scull clamored for attention, scraping his brain tissue. The strange man's body shook once again, but more and more imperceptibly as he locked the demons in their mental cages.

Chaos, never far away from him no matter how he tried to isolate himself, whispered to the strange man like a snake. E_veryone you knew is dead. You are as lifeless as those in the grave._

_There was never any doubt of that_, he whispered back.

The nightmares reached out and took him again.

* * *

Red XIII looked around at his defeated warriors sleeping on the ground. The girl had escaped with the huge materia, but he had hoped she would be stopped by the death spell. He shook his head morosely, his mane shaking out. This was more serious than he would like.

The protector of Cosmo Canyon woke his companions up and organized armed search parties. Then, he reluctantly called the rest of AVALANCHE on the PHS. It was his duty to inform Cloud about what had conspired, although he didn't want to admit it had happened on his watch.

* * *

When Yuffie came back to consciousness, she was lying on the ground on her back. It was still night. She saw pointy peaks of a mountain range to her left and the big fat face of her Chubs right next to her right eye. Yuffie weakly unclenched her bloody left hand from her shuriken and her right from the bag of materia she still held.

She lifted her arm to pat Chubs on the beak. "It's alright, Chubby."

The teenager knew it probably wasn't alright. She could barely control her left arm; it was in so much pain.

Yuffie quickly healed herself with the materia in her shuriken. She cursed that her magic was so used up that she could only afford a cure spell. The pain receded, but still throbbed as if it were only a quarter healed.

She stood up and leaned against the warking blue chocobo. "Where the heck are we?"

As if in answer, Chubs looked toward a town that was nestled between the mountains in the distance.

"Nibelheim?"

Yuffie looked back at her chocobo in adoration. "Oh, I really love you, Chubby. You're so smart!"

The blue warked as she climbed onto his back once again. As they entered the village, the sun was just coming up in the east, painting that part of the sky orange and pink. The town was completely silent save for a whining dog by the well in the center of the town.

Yuffie knew that the warriors from Cosmo Canyon would be looking for her, so they couldn't stay at the hotel unless they wanted to leave a clear trail to follow. She decided that they would stay in the town undercover until she could get better, then they would hire a boat and head back to Wutai. She remembered that Nibelheim was almost completely devoid of people, so there was a good chance that no one would notice her arrival so early in the morning. Still, she led them around the town and told Chubs to be as quiet as he could.

A huge mansion stood at the edge of town, almost falling down in its dilapidation.

The ninja thought it looked abandoned enough to suit her needs. She entered, still riding the chocobo and dismounted inside the mansion. She poured water on her bleeding arm and was starting to wrap it with her sleeve when she felt faint. Yuffie knelt on the wooden floor, gritting her teeth, but finally succumbed and fell back in an unconscious, awkward heap.

* * *

AN: I realize that I seem to be mixing up the huge materia with the master materia, and I am. I'm just changing it to be if you use the huge materia, you can use all the spells in the game. In the real game, you have to master all of the materia in a category in order to _use_ the huge materia to _make_ the master materia. So Yuffie shouldn't be able to use them like that. But it's not that bad of artistic license. I just don't want you to think I'm a poser and don't know my FFVII lore. 


	3. Intruder Alert

Disclaimer: By...Raistlin Majere from the Dragonlance Series (es) by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman and…like 40 other authors!

GMHY: "Hey Raistlin! Does FFVII belong to me?"  
Raist: (looks up in surprise) "I believe not. Do you know where it is?"  
GMHY: "The game? Well, I'm not sure..."  
Raist: (makes an evil villain pose) "Playing that game would give me the practice I need to defeat Takhisis and become a God!"  
GMHY: Oo "If you weren't hot...I would say that you were crazy..."  
Raist: "I'm not crazy...just manipulative."  
GMHY: "Oh. Okay." (gives Raist a noogie)  
Raist: "That hurt, you fool!" (starts to cough blood)  
GMHY: (not apologetic) "Crap. I'm sorry, Raist..."  
Raist: (writhes on the ground)  
GMHY-makes peace sign with fingers as Raistlin claws at her feet and gasps for breath- "Neither I nor my white-haired bishonen Raistlin Majere own FFVII, a'ight?"

Optional Characters

By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie

Chapter 3: "Intruder Alert"

Darkness, and a never-ending staccato of droplets hitting the floor near the head of the coffin, woke him from his unhappy reverie.

He winced. The worst part by far of his bizarre existence was waking up. Just as soon as he began to believe the horrible reality he created for himself in his slumber, he was jerked back to reality. The waking world was the true nightmare. How he truly existed was much worse than any dream his mind could conjure up.

The strange man was stunned, then, to wake for once without pain. He was also shocked that he had only been asleep for the normal eight hours, as opposed to the years he usually slept.

He was also startled to understand that Chaos had been waiting for him to wake up.

Chaos was a very bored demon and was very seldom animated. But when the strange man came to consciousness, it was because the demon had woken him up, which it never did.

Chaos growled, sending an electric current through his legs. _Wake up, mortal. There is news._

The strange man's eye twitched unconsciously. 'News' was never good, coming from Chaos. The last news had been three years ago, when Chaos had contemptuously informed him that Meteor was hurtling toward the Planet.

The strange man desperately wanted to go back to sleep and avoid whatever news was forthcoming. Instead, he waited patiently for an explanation.

_There is someone in the mansion again._

The strange man could never figure out how Chaos could know that when it was trapped in a coffin just like he was, but he never questioned it.

_The last people who came did nothing to bother us, the strange man answered dismissively._

Three years ago there had been a group of people who had found the secret laboratory underneath the mansion. He had heard them pass in front of the door, but they had never explored inside his room.

When Chaos didn't offer any more information, the strange man tried to go back to sleep, but there was a curious tension and excitement in him, a mixture of his own and Chaos' reactions to the news, that wouldn't let him rest.

* * *

Cloud was already awake and making breakfast in his villa in Costa del Sol when he received the call from Red XIII. He grabbed the PHS and his plate of pancakes and eggs and brought them all to the table simultaneously.

Sitting down, he answered the ringing instrument.

"Hello? Cloud here."

"Hello, Cloud. This is Nanaki."

Cloud grinned. "Hey, Red! What's going on?"

After the Meteor incident, the members of AVALANCHE returned to their homes all over the world. It was kind of rare treat for Cloud to receive any contact from the former members of his ragtag team besides Tifa, because they had gotten married soon after.

"Cloud, there's a problem." The gruff voice on the line hesitated.

Cloud ate a bite of pancake. "What do you mean?"

Red XIII sighed. "A ninja broke into my grandfather's house tonight. She stole the Huge Materia."

There was silence for a few seconds as Cloud choked on his pancake.

"Do you know where she went?"

"We think that she fled to the north, either Nibelheim or Rocket Town. I think we will catch her soon. She could not have gone very far."

"She's a ninja. She's probably heading for Wutai." Cloud's voice was contemplative.

"Red, those Huge Materia. We have to get them back as soon as possible. In the wrong hands, they could be as destructive as the Black Materia or Holy."

"We're searching right now." Red XIII's voice sounded slightly offended.

"I know. Since Cid's closer, maybe you should call him and ask if she went that way."

"I already did. He hasn't seen anyone matching her description."

"I see." Cloud exhaled, closing his eyes and eating a bite of eggs. "I'm going to Nibelheim, then."

"Cloud, I don't want to make you-"

"Too bad, Red. I'm really bored. I don't have anything to do. I think I'll go to Nibelheim. It would be better than sitting around here all the time. Besides, I'll have Tifa come along.

I know that she'd like to see you again, too."

"Alright, Cloud. I'll see you in Nibelheim."

"Bye, Red."

Cloud rested back in his chair with his arms behind his head. _Finally, a little excitement for once. _

_

* * *

_

A blinding ray of light fell on Yuffie's face, falling through an ancient cracked window and spilling over the dusty floor of the ShinRa Mansion. Her face muscles twitched spasmodically; her large gray eyes opened and adjusted to the room.

Her arm was in so much pain that all she could do for a few minutes was lay there feeling sorry for herself. Moaning, she sat up. Chubs was pecking at a floorboard toward the left of the front door. Dust motes floated in the air as the afternoon sunlight hit and played with them. There was a great staircase leading upstairs and four doors leading in all the cardinal directions.

"Chubs! Get over here!"

The blue chocobo warked guiltily and turned to look at her. Then he started to peck on the floor again.

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Leviathan save me from fat chocobos!"

When that didn't get a response from her mount, she painfully climbed to her feet and limped over to him, even though her legs weren't injured.

Yuffie latched onto her chocobo with her good right arm, leaning into him as hard as she could. "Chubs, you got some 'splaining to do!"

Chubs merely readjusted his weight and never stopped pecking the floor. Yuffie sighed and rolled her eyes, rummaging through one of the packs until she found a hi-potion. She was comforted to find her weapons and the Huge Materia still among the items in the chocobo's pack.

"Man, I probably only have like thirty hit points left." She glanced at Chubs, who was ignoring her, then at her injured arm, which had bled completely through her armor sleeve.

"This should do it. Bottoms up!" The ninja drank half the potion and poured the rest of it directly on her arm, feeling pleased when the wound stopped bleeding and began to heal up.

She tested it out, giving it a few stretches. It was still painful, but the good healing kind of pain. If she used it, the wound would open again, but it would heal for now.

"Hey, what's so interesting?" Yuffie asked Chubs, feeling a little left out. She knelt by his face and reached to grab a piece of paper that he had been pecking at. It was a note, yellowed and covered in dust. She wiped at it and read:

"I must get rid of all those that stand in the way of my research. Even that one from the Turks. I scientifically altered him, and put him to sleep in the basement. If you want to find him, then search the area. But...this is merely a game I thought of. It is not necessary for you to participate if you don't want to."

Yuffie glanced at Chubs. "What the heck is this crap?"

Chubs didn't answer because he was busy with another piece of paper he found on the floor. She wrestled it away from him as well.

"Move the dial on the safe carefully, but quickly. You have 20 seconds. You can not go past the numbers while turning. The four hints for the numbers are:

1. Look for the lid of the box with the most oxygen.

2. Behind the ivory's short of tea and ray.

3. The creak on the floor near the chair on the second floor. Then to the left five steps, up nine steps, left two steps, and up six steps."

"Hah! It's like a treasure hunt! It says something about a safe, and that's got to mean money!" When she saw Chubs' blank expression, she became exasperated. "Oh, come on. It's not like we have anything better to do. We have to hide out here for a little while before we head back to Wutai, anyways."

Cheered for the first time since she got her hands on the Huge Materia the day before, Yuffie set out to unravel the puzzle that she was sure led to a great treasure in the safe upstairs.

After thinking about it a minute, she realized that the fourth clue was written with invisible ink. She held it up to a flashlight and read "Dial (4) is (Right 97)."

Yuffie shook her head. "If they're going to be this easy, I shouldn't even bother. Whatever's in the safe is probably not even worth it." (1)

She soon unraveled the other clues, finding the numbers hidden on a lid of a box upstairs, behind the grand piano, and on the specific floorboard after following the directions from the squeaky one. Chubs watched her come and go through the quiet, dusty mansion, settled down in the huge anteroom and occasionally warking. He was too busy eating his breakfast to assist her, not that he would have been much help, anyway.

Finally armed with the four combinations, Yuffie skillfully opened the safe upstairs. When she grasped the handle and opened it, an arm exploded out of it and hit her in the chest, knocking her back against the wall. When the black spots receded and her breath came back, she had barely enough time to dodge before a sword-like arm chopped into the wall behind her.

As the hulking monster tried to pry its arm out of the wall, Yuffie had an opportunity to realize what had emerged from the safe.

_Lost Number!_

The monster, its head a burly mask of teeth and eyes, finally dislodged its sword-arm. Turning toward the ninja, it raised its arm.

Yuffie crouched, preparing to dodge. The ninja reached in her tennis shoe for the materia she always kept there in case she was separated from her shuriken. Before she could reach it, though, the Lost Number seemed to change its mind. It slammed its hand on the ground, casting Quake2. The ninja back flipped out of the room, avoiding the attack and desperately trying to find Chubs, who had her weapons in his pack.

The Lost Number bullied its way through the walls by the door, beating a hole large enough to fit through. It roared hoarsely and took another swipe at her, but she was too agile to get hit a second time. Yuffie finally got a hold of the green materia in her shoe and brandished it triumphantly.

"Aha! Try to beat me now, sucker! Fire3!" An inferno engulfed the fiend and it howled in agony. The red side of its body seemed to slump and die, but its purple counterpart was not nearly as affected by the fire. It shook its head sharply and growled at Yuffie, casting Bolt2.

The electricity buckled through the ninja, shocking her off her feet and throwing her against the floor. Yuffie just sat there, looking blankly up at the towering Lost Number.

"Hey, that was just cheap!" she muttered, dazed.

The Lost Number didn't seem to care, and immediately tried to cast another spell.

She staggered to her feet and resumed her fighting stance. "You'll have to be faster than that!"

The ninja sprung backwards into the anteroom of the mansion, where her blue chocobo looked up in surprise, with a sort of chocobo bewildered expression when he saw the huge Lost Number at the top of the double staircase.

"Hey, Chubby!" Yuffie jumped on his back, rummaging desperately through his packs. She found her shuriken immediately and turned back to the monster and threw it, hard.

Lost Number cast a spell before the shuriken reached him, hurled so fast that it ripped through his head, completely dismembering it. The Lost Number's final spell engulfed the girl and chocobo completely in flames for long, agonizing moments. It happened so fast that they didn't have time to react.

The searing pain lasted long after the fire no longer burned them. Yuffie screamed in pain and fainted, falling off the chocobo to the floorboards and cracking her head so hard that stars spun in her vision before the world went blissfully dark.

* * *

A huge, explosive sound permeated through the weak and rotting floorboards to the strange man's sensitive ears. It was surreal; he had heard nothing but dripping water and the scurrying of unnamed rodents for three years.

His eyes flashed open.

The strange man was suddenly alert, all sense of lethargy gone in the sounding of that unexpected explosion. The adrenalin made him tense up uncomfortably. His ears strained for any other sound. His breath came quickly.

_...what is happening?_ he demanded of Chaos, who was being very quiet.

The strange man thought he heard a girl's scream. Chaos was still for long moments before it spoke, its voice like a stretched and malicious grin.

_Interesting._

The demon seemed to take a deep breath, and then let it go slowly, speculatively.

_She has opened the safe._

The strange man could read nothing in the demon's words.

_What safe? What was that sound..?_

But the demon would not answer. It seemed to gather itself as far away from the strange man as it could, like a dark child crouched and considering in a corner.

_...Chaos?_

It was ignoring him. Or it wasn't hearing him.

Either way, the strange man heard nothing more but silence from the odd intruder upstairs. Slowly, the adrenalin faded and his muscles relaxed.

_It would be better if you slept, _Chaos' ghastly whisper skulked from the corner.

Under the weight of the demon's will and his own fatigue, the strange man fell asleep, the first deep sleep that he had experienced in years.

* * *

When Yuffie came to, she saw her outstretched arm right in front of her eyes. It was the injured one that Red XIII had sliced the day before and the wound had come open again.

The blood had spread around her on the floor and she felt very weak.

It was dusk. There was no electricity running through the mansion and the only light came through the wide windows from the lights of the town outside and the recently set sun. Everything was cut in different shades of gray in the gloomy half-light.

She focused her eyes beyond her arm and made out the large blue lump that was her chocobo. His face was turned to hers and his large eyes were shut. He was sleeping, his breath coming painfully. Yuffie saw immediately that he was badly burned.

"Chubs!" Yuffie sat up and the sudden rushing blood made her brace herself against the floor.

She cursed softly, tears coming to her eyes at the sad sight of her sleeping companion. "I didn't...mean...for you to get hurt..."

Yuffie crawled over to him, grabbing the first potion she found and pouring it over her Chubs, rubbing it into his charred feathers and everywhere else she could reach.

Soon the blue chocobo woke up. He warked softly and contented himself with staring at

Yuffie as she ministered to him.

After making sure her chocobo was recovering, she poured another potion over her misused arm, which healed, but less cleanly than the day before. She rubbed potion over her own burns, biting her lip at the stinging pain of touching them.

When she was done, she sighed and leaned her forehead against Chub's beak.

"I'm so sorry, buddy. It was all my fault. I know better than going anywhere without my weapons. I'm so stupid."

The chocobo responded with soft croons and closed his eyes again, falling asleep.

She stayed leaned against the big bird for long moments with her eyes closed. Tears leaked out of her eyes and she scrubbed at them sullenly. She hated seeing living things in pain. It only got worse when they were hurt because of her stupidity.

Yuffie desperately wished that one day she would wake up and no longer be so immature, so stupid and thoughtless and inconsiderate.

She stood up, fighting the pain in her limbs. The ninja walked up the stairs to the safe room, passing the spot where the Lost Number had evaporated after its decapitation and recovering her thrown shuriken before moving on.

The safe room was covered in splinters and the whole door to the room wasn't there anymore. Angrily, she jerked the door of the safe open.

There were two things inside, a red materia which made the materia hunter in Yuffie's soul start to drool and an old-fashioned key.

She grabbed the materia, pleased to find yet another summon spell to add to her collection. Not that it mattered. After all, she already owned the Huge Summon materia, but it was always nice to have back-ups.

Yuffie picked up the key and reached into her pocket for the yellowed notes.

"...Even that one from the Turks. I scientifically altered him, and put him to sleep in the basement. If you want to find him, then search the area..."

"The key has to go to something, or else it would have no purpose," Yuffie mused. "I wonder where the entrance to this secret basement is."

She looked around, going slowly and exploring every cranny of the house until she found the entrance, accidentally pressing a switch that moved a wall away.

"Oh, come on. That's so easy!" Yuffie shook her head at the ineptitude of certain hiders of certain secret notes, then ducked into the creepy room. It was a spiral staircase that went deep into the ground like an inverted tower.

Cautiously, she crept down the stairs. When she got so deep that there was no light, she went back up to get a flashlight from Chub's pack.

After descending to the basement floor, she walked down a long cave-like hallway until she came to a locked door on her left side. Yuffie saw that the corridor extended farther into a laboratory, but she decided to try the key in the door first.

The key fit; the door opened with a creak.

She coughed slightly. Dust covered every surface of the room. The ninja aimed her flashlight at the walls and floor, revolted at the sight of coffins and skeletons lining the walls. The room smelled like decay and must, water seepage making the air dank after years of disuse. Yuffie stepped farther into the room, scouring every surface for a treasure chest or something else worth her while.

There was a very large and decorated coffin in the very center of the black room.

"...and put him to sleep in the basement. If you want to find him, then..."

Yuffie had a flash of insight. Whatever the note was leading to was probably in that coffin. If there was any treasure besides the Odin Summon that she found in the safe, (which she knew was only chump change compared to what her trouble was worth) then it would be in this coffin.

Maybe the 'he' in the note was a big pile of gold and jewels. The note writer probably wrote about a guy in the basement so kids would be too scared to look for the treasure.

Since that Lost Number was guarding the key, she knew that it was something good in there. Just the thought of the forgotten riches made her grin.

If she was too scared to look, then it would prove that she was just a scared little kid. And Yuffie wasn't about to get scared by a little note.

The ninja stepped up to the lid of the elaborate black coffin and set her flashlight down on the floor. The light shone straight up at the ceiling. She pushed with both hands on the lid, shoving it onto the ground on the other side with a crash.

Trembling, she retrieved her flashlight and illuminated the contents of the ebony sarcophagus.

Gasping in horror, she dropped her flashlight in the coffin and fell back on her rear.

There was a man inside the coffin, after all!

Her nerves felt frayed and she was breathing hard; her eyes were wide open.

"No way. No way." She shook her head. The black room seemed oppressive. She could only see the ceiling where the light was coming out of the coffin from the flashlight.

She crept back on her hands and knees. Bracing herself, she peered over the edge once again. A man, swathed in a red cloak, lay peacefully at the heart of the box of death. His black hair spilled over the white cloth and pillow. His skin was translucent in the white light and his eyelashes and long hair were very black. His eyes were closed; either he was dead or dreaming.

Yuffie closed her own eyes tightly. When she opened them, the man was still there.

"...I scientifically altered him, and put him to sleep in the basement..."

She swallowed down her dry throat, dismayed, "I found a freaking vampire."

Immediately, Yuffie wished she hadn't spoken, because the strange man's eyes snapped open at the sound.

His eyes were red.

Yuffie yelled and jumped away, running to the door. When she reached it, she turned and faced the vampire with her shuriken ready and her limbs shaking.

He stood on the rim of the coffin, balanced perfectly. The light from the flashlight lit him from the back, making his cloak and face look black.

"...I've never seen you before. You must leave."

* * *

(1)Note: If you ever have the extreme luck of doing a scavenger hunt that leads to a sleepy Vincent Valentine, don't ever, ever say this. Cause I'd hate you.

Thanks, reviewers!

Hotaru170: Thanks for being the first reviewer and I hope you like this outlook!

Kikyos killer: Thanks! I will! And I have updated! Muahahaaa!

Mistress Delavaire: Thanks for the info on the materia. It's pretty complicated neh? I'm glad you liked it!

PerfectAbuse: You reviewed twice! Man, I love it when people do that!


	4. She's No Buffy

Disclaimer: By…Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke (Mononoke Hime):

GMHY: (whistles appreciatively) "You run fast."  
Ashitaka: "I have been cursed on my arm by a rampaging boar god. I have come to Iron Town to prevent Lady Hiboshi from killing the forest spirit."  
GMHY: "What does that have to do with running fast?"  
Ashitaka: (shrug)  
GMHY: "ANYways, do I look like I own FFVII to you?"  
Ashitaka: "No."  
GMHY: "Thanks! Anything else you'd like to say?"  
Ashitaka: "Just don't try to behead the forest spirit. Or I'll chop your arms off."  
GMHY: "Oh. Okay." (holds onto arms protectively)

Optional Characters

By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie

Chapter 4: "She's No Buffy"

There was a pregnant silence.

Then Yuffie began to yell.

"You stay the heck away from me!" She brandished her sharp shuriken dramatically. "I swear if you move a muscle I'll chop your head off!"

The strange man was slightly annoyed by the threat. He shifted slightly and blinked. When he spoke again, his voice was deeper and more forceful than before. "...I have nothing to say to strangers. Get out."

Yuffie stomped her foot. "I don't have to take this crap from anyone, even a vampire! I'm looking for the freaking treasure and I'm not leaving until I get it! If I have to fight you for it, then bring it on!"

The strange, cloaked man merely looked at her. It was difficult to read his expression because the flashlight was lighting him from behind, throwing his face into a kind of half-silhouette.

Yuffie became nervous, her right arm twitching with the familiar weight of the shuriken, longing to throw it. Giving in to her mounting exasperation, the ninja cried, "Say something, dangit!"

The man was silent.

Yuffie made a face. "You're full of crap!" She swung her right arm back to throw her shuriken.

The man moved before she did. Suddenly, the ninja was looking down the barrel of a very long rifle.

Her right arm paused just as she was about to let fly. They stood like that for a time, Yuffie hunched in an uncomfortable position in front of the nose of the gun, staring up at the swathed gunman with her right arm cramping up.

After a few painful minutes, the man spoke again, quietly and firmly, "This mansion is the beginning of your nightmare. Leave before it consumes you."

Never too cool when guns were pointed at her, Yuffie snapped, "Yeah right! I'm staying here whether you like it or not!"

The man was motionless. After a moment, he slowly lowered the gun. "Do what you will...but you must leave."

He stepped down gracefully and replaced the lid of the coffin, ignoring her completely. At a loss with the sudden lack of rifles aimed at her head, Yuffie awkwardly grabbed her flashlight as he lie down inside. Before he could shut it, the girl remembered her purpose and angrilywedged her shuriken in between the lid and the side. One of the sharp points quivered where it stuck an inch away from the strange man's face. He stared at the teenager expressionlessly.

"Wait a minute! Where the heck is the treasure?" Yuffie pointed the flashlight right in the strange man's eyes, but he didn't seem too bothered by it.

"...You're still here."

"Of course I am! You think I'd give up that easily?" she replied angrily. She frowned at him. There was no feeling in his face at all. The ninja felt nervous and cold suddenly. "What are you anyway? Are you really a vampire?"

The man closed his eyes, effectively shutting the girl out. Yuffie hated being ignored and was about to retort when he answered.

"...No."

"Then why the heck are you in here? How did you get in if the room was locked?"

Quietly, his voice came through pale lips, his eyes still closed, "I have been sleeping...for a long time. It has given me time to atone."

Yuffie went still like a bird. "What are you saying? Atone from what?"

The blood-red eyes opened and looked straight at her.

Yuffie was at a loss. "Who are you?"

Black lashes closed once again over his red eyes as he answered, the breath spilling out of him. "I was with... the ShinRa Manufacturing Department in Administrative Research, otherwise known as... the Turks... Vincent Valentine."

She blinked. She had actually half-expected him to say, "Oh, I was kidding. I am a vampire." "You're a Turk?"

"Formerly of the Turks. I have no affiliation with ShinRa now. ...And you?" Here his eyes opened once again, looking at her.

"I'm Yuffie Kisaragi, the great materia hunter!" Here she looked conspiratorially at the tired man, excited to tell her exploits to the first person who would listen. "I just stole the Huge Materia from AVALANCHE!" She made a thrusting motion with her hand. "Heh heh, it was so easy!"

Vincent blinked.

Yuffie scratched her short hair. "So I have to hide out here for a few days until they stop looking for me."

That garnered no response.

Yuffie tried to switch topics back to Vincent. "So if you were a Turk, the how did you end up sleeping in a coffin in the basement of the ShinRa Mansion?"

Wordlessly, Vincent closed the coffin with a sharp crack.

Yuffie knocked on it.

His voice was muffled. "...Let me sleep."

Yuffie knocked again.

He said nothing.

Shrugging, Yuffie stood up and stretched, feeling a little strange. It was not every day that you met such a freaking weirdo.

_He's quick, though. That gun was up so fast I almost didn't see it._ But that wasn't surprising. If the gloomy man had been in the Turks, then he would be an excellent shot. Yuffie shrugged.

The flashlight dimmed. Yuffie knew her flashlight well; she only had a minute before the flashlight would just give out. _I knew I should've bought more batteries at Gongaga._

She ran down the hall and up the twirling staircase. Just as she was opening the secret doorway, the light died completely. Slowly, Yuffie shuffled through the pitch-dark mansion on her way to the anteroom where her fat chocobo was. Feeling sleepy, Yuffie poured more of the potion on herself and her chocobo before eating a few stale provisions, feeding her chocobo some Reagan greens, and finally going to sleep.

She lie on the hard floor thinking how weird her day had been. When she dreamt, she had her first nightmare since she was a little girl. As soon as she woke, gasping, the dream slipped through her mind like water, leaving a vague foreboding feeling behind.

* * *

In the two years since Meteor had fallen on Midgar, the world had changed. In the city, the few who survived the compound destructive forces of Holy, the lifestream, and Meteor were those who lived under the plate. There had been no survivors from the upper plate. All of the scientists, rich men, officials or soldiers of ShinRa in Midgar had been burned away.

Their government all but wiped off the face of the earth, the poor people of the slums had moved to other cities to fill up the slums there. Most of them migrated to Junon, where the atmosphere was ridiculously like the one they had 'enjoyed' under the plate at Midgar. Once under oppressive authority, the uneducated people found it difficult to change. Even though they always dreamed of life away from ShinRa, once away from it they had no food. So they migrated back into ShinRa's good graces at Junon.

ShinRa the company had survived the destruction, remarkably. No one was the head of the company. It was run by the cronies Heideggar, Scarlet and Palmer. The Turks still administrated "Administrative Research" to keep the people fearful and in line. The company was nowhere near as powerful as it had been with the great metropolis of Midgar. The company still held sway over all the cities of the world, but a relatively weak one.

In Junon, a man stood in the middle of a large paved street. He wore a black cloak and shook occasionally, as if a sudden wind would knock him over. The figure moved slowly and very carefully as if the effort were extremely precious.

Pausing, he lifted his gaze to the towering buildings and banners that still proclaimed ShinRa's might. Nodding spasmodically, he rocked to himself and let the press of people sweep him to an elevator leading to the town of Junon outside the city.

Using great concentration, the man managed to force his mako-poisoned body to respond and press the button to go down. Resting from his exertions as he lowered, the figure quaked with exhaustion. When the doors opened to the outside, he shuffled through it. The town was now a huge slum. Junon officials would only let a few of the poor refugees from Midgar into the city. People had to bribe their way in and the refugees had no money.

Seeing the dilapidation and poor people around him, the man in the black cloak hummed to himself sporadically; his arms twitched with excitement.

Then the spirit that had been controlling him left him and he lost all of his former purpose.

Collapsing against a wall, he spent the next few days nodding his head back and forth. The procedure so many years ago had taken away much of his brain activity.

No one bothered him, thinking he was another unfortunate. They passed him by on all sides and never looked at him. Quietly, he died and disappeared against the brown, dirty walls.

* * *

Cloud dismounted when he and Tifa reached the outskirts of Nibelheim. The town was quiet. It had always been quiet. Even in his childhood, the sound had seemed muted.

He glanced at Tifa. She had been his next-door neighbor so many years before. It was always strange for them to come back, ever since Sephiroth had burned the town to the ground and ShinRa had rebuilt it, populating the town with actors.

Nibelheim had always seemed fake, but now it seemed like a boil on the back of humanity. Like a quietly festering sore.

Cloud wondered if the wounds from this town would ever heal completely. This was where his mother and Tifa's father had been murdered. Where the horror seven years ago had taken place.

He shook his head. All of that was behind him. He had taken revenge, killed Hojo, Jenova and Sephiroth for the greater good of humanity and was no longer affected by what had happened at Nibelheim.

Tifa took his hand as they led their golden chocobos to the town inn. As they bought their room, Cloud suddenly wanted to hit the innkeeper as hard as he could.

"What do you do," he tensely asked the fat man, "when people return to see their family in Nibelheim? I mean, you can't keep family away. The fact that this town was burned down can't be kept a secret forever."

The man looked shocked and immediately sweat began to run down his corpulent face. His hands trembling, he handed the leader of AVALANCHE his key. "D-don't know what you mean, sir. Y-you s-should go to your room. You h-have some guests."

With that, the man retreated into the kitchen.

Tifa smiled at Cloud. "Thank you," she said simply.

Cloud grinned back, scratching his head. "It was nothing. I don't know what these stupid actors are trying to prove after all these years."

Tifa nodded and they brought their luggage upstairs.

Cid was standing at the window, smoking as he glared out of it. When he saw Cloud he turned, rubbing the side of his face.

"#. Cloud's here," he mumbled to the bedroom.

Red XIII padded out. "Cloud, Tifa! It's very good to see you."

"Yeah, it's # great." Cloud didn't know whether Cid was being sarcastic or not.

"Hey, Red. What's eating Cid?" Tifa put her luggage down on the floor.

Red XIII sobered. "I wish you two were here under better circumstances. Not only the mess with the ninja, but we just had an encounter with..." He trailed off indecisively.

Cid blew out a cloud of smoke. "We !# just saw a !# Sephiroth clone."

There was a stunned silence.

"You're kidding, though," Tifa gave a tentative smile.

Their grave faces gave her her answer.

"No way!" Cloud almost yelled. "You've got to be joking! What are you talking about?"

"Just what I !# said. One of those freaky guys that we saw two years ago. He was in Nibelheim," Cid said, looking tired.

Tifa shook her head. "When was this? What did he say?"

"It was this morning. I met Cid outside the village. As we were coming in, a man in a black cloak was standing right in the middle of town."

"And what in the heck made you think it was a Sephiroth clone?" Cloud demanded.

Cid pulled his cigarette out of his mouth to answer. "When we got close, the little retard said 'Reunion... Sephiroth... master...'" here Cid did a sarcastic parody of the clones' disembodied voices that they all remembered. "Yeah, I'm thinking it was a clone."

Cloud rubbed his chin. "What did you do with him?"

"Nothing. As soon as we realized what he was, he melted and died like the others did." Red XIII looked worriedly up at Cloud. "I don't know what to think about this, Cloud. Is it possible that after all we did Sephiroth could still be alive?"

Cloud shook his head, his expression dark. "I really hope not. I don't believe it."

Tifa sounded worried. "Do you think that the huge materia getting stolen and the clone is related somehow?"

Cid resolutely put his cigarette out. "!. Who knows? This is all just a bunch of #."

"Have you found the ninja yet?" asked Tifa.

"No, but we believe she's in this town somewhere," Red XIII said.

Cloud rubbed his hands together. "Alright, we'll go out looking for her as soon as we get unpacked."

* * *

Vincent couldn't sleep.

He'd never had a problem sleeping before. He always had nothing else to do. But it had been a while since he heard the girl run back up the stairs and he found that he couldn't go back to sleep.

_Has something got you riled up?_ Chaos was smiling wickedly inside his brain.

_...Shut up._

_I know you're excited about your first contact with a girl in thirty years, but don't be nervous. I'm sure she'll like you._ Chaos blatantly started cackling at him.

His right hand stole up to rub his eyes. He didn't bother to reply to the inane comment.

_You were quite the gentlemen, too. Saying, "Go away" and pointing your gun at her like that._

Vincent was beginning to have a headache.

_You were inspiring! And you still managed to get back in your coffin to hide like a scared little girl._

Vincent began to mentally subdue the demon, becoming heartily sick with the conversation.

_Ah, struck a cord?_ Then, the demon's voice became dull, losing its mocking tone. _You disgust me._

_You're not exactly admirable, yourself._

Just as Vincent carefully placed the last mental block between himself and the demon, Chaos bellowed, _You're pathetic! I swear, if I ever become separated from you I will flay you alive and eat you!_

When Chaos had yelled the last threat it had sent helpful visuals aids to illustrate exactly how it would carry it out.

Vincent would have almost smiled at the picture of being marinated, but shuddered instead, knowing full well that the demon hadn't meant it as a joke.

The demon silent for once, Vincent finally managed to fall asleep.

* * *

"Well this is just fan-freaking-tastic."

Yuffie was worried. She was pressed against the dingy, huge windows looking out into the small town.

AVALANCHE had found her.

There was no mistaking the two people that had ridden in on, get this, _golden_ chocobos. If Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockheart had wanted to go incognito, they had failed miserably. Their faces had been plastered on all the badly circulated magazines of post-Meteor. Almost everyone in the world would know them on sight. Their story had been dramatic. They had instantly become heroes of the tired and uncaring world.

Well, she would just have to hide or run. Fighting them was not a real possibility. Even the egocentric Yuffie couldn't imagine winning an all-out fight against AVALANCHE, even with the help of the huge materia.

She couldn't risk going outside because they would definitely see her leaving and catch her on their faster chocobos, so the only thing she could think of was to clean up and hide out in the basement of the mansion. AVALANCHE wouldn't search thoroughly enough to find the secret doorway.

If it led to a fight, she would try to make it short and run away as soon as she could. If she escaped on Chubs then they could cross the shallow ocean to Wutai, where they would be safe.

AVALANCHE wouldn't be able to find her on her home turf.

Having made her decision, Yuffie hid the fact that she'd been staying there for the past few days as well as she could. She cleaned up the chocobo droppings and feathers, rolled up her sleeping bag and packed everything up.

Yuffie rolled her eyes at the huge splintery mess that had been a doorway before Lost Number had destroyed it, and the burn marks on the walls. She would just hope that Cloud Strife would think a monster did it.

The ninja took every good master materia she owned and put them in the slots in her shuriken. The huge materia wouldn't fit because they were, well, too huge. She put them in a bag and tied it around he neck.

Finally prepared, Yuffie checked out the window one last time. When she saw Cloud and Tifa come out of the inn, she tensed up, but when she saw Cid Highwind and Red XIII follow them, she cursed to herself. There were more members of AVALANCHE than she had figured on. Fighting would be really hard, if it came to that.

It never occurred to Yuffie to give the huge materia back. As soon as they had made their way into her hands, she had considered them hers and never felt any remorse. In her mind, when she thought of any materia she had stolen, it was in a group labeled, "Mine, and also for Wutai," so she always thought she was justified because she was 'helping her country.'

After packing, she took out a spare piece of cloth and tied Chub's beak together so he wouldn't make any noise. She led the slightly disgruntled Chubs to the secret entrance and opened it. It was just as dark as it had been the night before. The ninja got out her spare flashlight and, closing the door behind her, the girl and her overweight chocobo made their way to the ground floor.

They paused there and waited for twenty minutes. Then Yuffie heard faint voices.

"Ah, #. She's not down there."

"She might be. We should check everywhere, Cid."

A woman's voice. "Yes, and I think we should see if Hojo left any notes about the clones coming back, too. I mean, if anyone knew about it, then..."

The voice became more muffled as Yuffie grabbed Chubs' reins and ran down the hall to Vincent's room.

The game was almost up. She heard the door open upstairs and footsteps coming down the spiral staircase.

The teenager tore the door open and shut it behind her and started to bang irreverently on the ornate coffin.

"Hey! Hey! I need your help! Wake up!"

There was no response. Yuffie cocked her head. The group hadn't gotten to the hallway yet.

She shoved the lid of the coffin off with a muffled crash and pointed the light at Vincent's shut eyes.

"Wake up!"

His eyes opened. "...What?"

"You've got to help me! You wouldn't want me to die, would you?" Yuffie looked at him pleadingly.

He just stared at her, one eyebrow raised.

"Well, that was a stupid question. Uhh..." she trailed off; the footsteps grew louder. Terrified, Yuffie began to talk very fast in a long run-on sentence. "Look, there's these people who are going to kill me if they find me you've got to not let them kill me you're a Turk so you can help me fight them I don't want to die I'm only eighteen that's too young to die this sucks this sucks this sucks-"

Vincent was about to say something when the footfalls sounded right outside the door. Yuffie clapped a hand over his mouth and her own to silence them both, feeling hysterical, like she was about to scream. Even her breathing sounded too loud.

The footsteps paused outside the doorway.

When they spoke, their voices were too close for comfort.

"I thought I heard something..."

* * *

AN: In that first scene, 95 percent of what Vincent says comes from the game script. I only had to make up 10-15 words for him to say! Heh heh! I mean, why work when someone else did it for you, right? Anyway, I gave you a nice fat and exciting chapter, so you should review. Cause you're nice like that. You don't have to unless you want to, of course. And I know you're dying to know what the heck Vincent's going to say about all this. Poor chap. So you should read on! 


	5. Vincent's smoooooth at lying

Disclaimer by...Sephiroth! (You know this is gonna be good)  
Choir: "...Veni veni venias! Ne me mori facias..."  
GMHY: "What the heck is that?"  
Sephiroth: "They keep following me..."  
Choir: "Gloriosa! Generosa! Gloriosa! Generosa..."  
GMHY: "That's cool, I guess."  
Choir: "...Vehementi, Sephiroth!"  
Sephiroth: "Quit encouraging them."  
GMHY: "Fine. Do I own FFVII?"  
Sephiroth: "No."  
Choir: "No you don't! No you don't! Sephiroth! Sephiroth!"  
Sephiroth: (impales choir)  
Choir: "Veni veni venias! Me ne mori facias!" "'Please, please, oh please! Do not let me die!'"  
Sephiroth: "Too bad!"  
Choir: (dies)

Optional Characters  
By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie  
Chapter 5: "Vincent's smooooth at lying..."

"I thought I heard something..." Red XIII's voice sounded muffled.

"Are you sure? That door was always locked."

A few tense seconds passed as AVALANCHE stopped to listen. Yuffie's hand was smothering Vincent, so he gently removed it and sat up in the coffin, making a slight rustling sound. Yuffie clasped both hands over her mouth and looked horrified at the noise.

"Yeah, I heard something that time." A hand turned the knob. "Hey, it's not locked."

Yuffie jumped inside one of the coffins leaning against the wall and quickly shut the lid. Thankfully, the coffin had no previous occupants. _Why didn't I lock the door? I'm dead, I'm so dead..._

Vincent stared at the coffin inside which Yuffie had disappeared, then turned his vision to the door. He didn't know exactly what was going on, but from the girl's confusing ramble, he gathered that she was in trouble. Shrugging, he lay back inside the coffin and closed his eyes.

The door opened. Cloud thought he saw movement in the room. He unsheathed the Ultima Weapon and cautiously stepped inside.

Immediately, he was under attack. "What the-" A barrage of pecks were pounding his scull into submission. After a few moments of cursing, he realized that a corpulent blue chocobo was trying to eat him.

"Quit it!" He grabbed the chocobo's reins right under the beak and looked into the chubby bird's watery eyes. "What are you trying to do, anyway?" Not expecting an answer, he gestured around the room with his sword, looking for other sources of danger.

The other members of AVALANCHE were already in the room. "I thought I smelled a chocobo," Red XIII said, musingly, "But I did not believe it."

Tifa began to pet the bird. "What is he doing in here?"

Cid was raking the room with a flashlight. "That ninja probably ditched him in here and ran off." The flashlight paused in mid-swipe. "Wait a minute. What the !#!# is that?"

They all turned to look at what he was aiming at.

There was silence for a while. Yuffie, standing inside the coffin, couldn't see what they were looking at. She knew they had found Chubs; now they were probably looking at Vincent, the weird guy in the coffin. She bit her finger to keep from making noise. The situation was pretty bad...

Tifa crept closer to the large ebony coffin in the center of the room. "Is he...dead?"

Cloud led the chocobo to stand beside her and shivered, looking at the placid face. "I don't know..."

Red XIII padded over to the head of the coffin and sniffed at Vincent's face. "I think that he is still alive."

Cid made a face. "What the ? He's alive?" Using the Venus Gospel as a poking stick, he jabbed the butt end at Vincent's chest.

Yuffie would have laughed, but she quelled the desire with an iron will.

Vincent's eyes flashed open. Spooked, Tifa and Cloud jumped a little. "...What are you doing in here?" he asked, his mouth barely moving.

No one really knew what to say. Cloud cleared his throat and asked, "What are _you_ doing in here?"

The man didn't answer, but he stood up and stepped out of the coffin, towering over the confused Cloud.

Cid rubbed his forehead. "What the #!#! is going on?"

Vincent turned his face toward the pilot. "I have no idea what you are doing here, but I suggest you leave."

Red XIII, the only one not visibly confused or frightened because of Vincent's sudden appearance, seemed to still have some composure. "We are looking for a ninja. We believe this is her chocobo and that she has been hiding in this house for the past few days. Have you seen her?"

Yuffie began to pray silently. Her prayers always took the form of business letters:

_PO Box #963  
Da Chao, Wutai  
Dear Great God Leviathan:  
I've always been a good kid, right? Well, I think I'm a pretty good kid. Anyways, please don't let those guys kill me. I was just trying to help Wutai out, so please make it alright. It would be nice if you could take care of them for me. If not, then I guess I'll meet you in heaven in a few minutes, 'cause yeah, they're definitely going to kill me if you don't do something. Oh, and please help the scary guy in the coffin, too. He just got caught in the middle. That is, help him only if he doesn't rat me out.  
Your devoted servant,  
Yuffie Kisaragi_

Vincent's cloak covered the bottom half of his face, so they couldn't see his mouth. His voice sounded disembodied. "What would you do with this ninja, if you found her?"

Cid set his spear down with a thump, getting impatient. "She !#!# stole our materia. Tell us where the #!#! she is!"

Tifa seemed more hesitant. "We need to ask her some questions...there was a Sephiroth clone in this town and we think she may be part of something bigger then just stealing our materia. She may have something to do with Hojo's experiments."

Vincent's face was shocked, the first time it had shown any emotion. "Hojo? Sephiroth? What do you know about them?"

Cloud looked incredulous. "We were the ones that killed him two years ago. Where were you? Everyone knows about that. We're..." he gestured vaguely at the other members of the group, "uh, AVALANCHE."

Vincent became calm once more. "You...killed Sephiroth?"

Cid barked, "Yeah, we did! Now where's the #!# ninja?"

Vincent turned to look at Cid. "I have not seen a ninja here."

"Then how do you explain this?" Cloud shook the chocobo's reins, glowering.

"That is my chocobo." Vincent lied blandly.

"What are you doing down here, anyway?" Tifa asked.

"...I was sleeping."

"In a coffin?"

"...It was more comfortable than the floor."

Red XIII growled, finding a hole in his argument, "How did you find your way into this secret basement, and why didn't you sleep upstairs in one of the beds?"

Vincent looked down at the lion warrior. "When I first came here, it was raining. The 'secret' doorway was very obvious. I decided to stay in this room because it was the only place that wasn't leaking or monster-ridden."

Yuffie couldn't believe her ears. _Why is he lying for me?_

Red XIII still looked suspicious. "It hasn't rained here for months."

Vincent shrugged. "...I came here a long time ago. I just became accustomed to using this room."

Tifa, getting nervous at the interrogative feeling of the conversation and feeling that the man was blameless, changed the note of the conversation. "I'm sorry, you were obviously just staying here. What's your name?"

"Vincent Valentine, formerly of the Turks...and you?" he answered politely.

"The Turks?" Cloud's eyebrows went up. "Well, I'm Cloud Strife, formerly of ShinRa army and leader of AVALANCHE. Good to meet you."

"I'm Tifa Lockheart, this is Nanaki, but we call him Red, and that's Cid Highwind," Tifa motioned to herself and the others as she introduced them. "We should go and look somewhere else for the ninja. She couldn't have gotten far. Sorry to bother you." The fighter motioned to the others to leave and did so herself.

Red XIII sniffed once, wrinkled his nose at the moldy and decaying smell and wondered at the fact that someone could prefer such a smelly room. _Well, humans have such a bad sense of smell. But I thought I smelled something earlier...?_ He shook out his mane, not being able to sift through the myriad scents in the strange room. He went out the door to explore the library next door.

Cid cursed and, throwing Vincent a bad-tempered look, picked up his weapon and followed him.

Cloud thrust the chocobo's reins at Vincent. "You should tie him up or something. He's like a guard dog." When Vincent didn't answer, merely holding the chocobo and standing there, Cloud scratched his head.

Vincent untied Chubs' beak while he spoke, "You said you defeated Sephiroth...? Was this two years ago?"

Cloud nodded. "It was a hard battle, but... but we won." Cloud's expression darkened and he looked at the ground, staring off into space.

Yuffie was dying, trying to keep silent so long. It was like holding her breath - possible, but in the long run really, really uncomfortable. Now that it looked like she was going to escape, she was getting impatient.

Vincent finished untying the chocobo and the bird shook its feathered head, warking. He considered the bird silently, then was about to speak again when he was interrupted.

"Cloud! Come here!" Tifa yelled from the other room. Cloud immediately ran out the door.

Vincent walked to the coffin leaning against the wall and knocked on it politely.

"...Let me sleeeeeppp!" Yuffie moaned dramatically.

Vincent tried not to roll his eyes. He knocked again. She opened the door and cocked her head up at him. "Hey, coffin guy. Why did you lie? You could have turned me in."

He handed her Chubs' reins and turned away, striding to the door.

"Heaey!" She whispered loudly. "Answer me!"

He paused and faced her at the doorway. "It's none of your business," he answered finally.

Yuffie stormed up to him, "What the heck kind of answer is that?"

He spoke, his voice somewhat harsh. "I suggest that you take that chocobo," he pointed at Chubs, "and leave this place. I will distract them."

Yuffie shook her head in amazement but mounted her chocobo obediently. From the vantage point of Chubs' back, Yuffie looked down at Vincent, seeing more of his face than usual from her vantage point.

"He may come back. I don't know what the girl was calling him about." Vincent went to the hallway and walked down it, leaving a slightly confused Yuffie in his wake.

"Wait."

Vincent paused, but did not turn.

"I...I don't need any favors." Even to Yuffie, her voice sounded small.

Vincent turned his face to her; his tone was granite. "I'm not giving you one. If you have anything to do with Hojo, I will find you and kill you. Get away from here while you have the chance."

The blood rushed from Yuffie's face. She didn't know what he was talking about, but she could recognize a genuine threat on her life when she heard one. _Who's Hojo?_ "Yeah, well thanks, I guess."

The ninja kicked Chubs and headed down the hall in the opposite direction, urging her chocobo up the stairs and out of the haunted mansion. _I suppose my prayer to Leviathan was answered. Through that guy, Vincent Valentine._ She silently gave a prayer of thanks to the water god, thinking strange thoughts as she did.

* * *

When Vincent found AVALANCHE, they were staring at the new additions to the ShinRa Mansion. The entire library had been reorganized and re-shelved and new doorways led off into several directions. Hundreds of human-sized test tubes lined every available inch of wall, including in the corridors. Vincent looked around in amazement.

_When did this happen?_

Chaos grinned. _You were asleep when the workers came. I only wake you up for important things._

_And that ninja girl was important?_

The demon didn't deign to answer.

Cloud turned to Vincent accusingly. "What is this? You were here right? Did you do this?"

Vincent shrugged. "No. I haven't entered this room before." He waved at their footprints, which were clearly visible on the dusty floor. "Our footprints are the only recent ones."

Cloud considered that, then he turned to the other members of AVALANCHE and said, "I want to find a clue, or anything that will tell us why this has happened. Start looking around."

Tifa peered into one of the tubes. "Cloud...is that...a person?"

He looked inside and shook his head sadly. "It looks just like the creatures in the tubes at the reactor seven years ago..."

Troubled, the four continued, exploring all the new rooms until only one was left. Every hallway was filled with the tubes. There were an impossible number of them; more and more squatted peevishly in every room they came to. The creatures inside seemed to scream silently for release. Tifa felt great pity in her heart for them, Red XIII, Vincent and especially Cloud felt empathy for the deformed creatures, and Cid felt disgusted by them.

When they opened the last door, they heard something moving inside. Cid switched on the lights; they flickered for a moment as the mako energy reached them and steadied.

The room was a shifting morass of black-cloaked Sephiroth clones. They were startled by the light; a great number of them simply fell over and died when Cid had turned the lights on.

"What the #!#?" Cid exclaimed.

The nearest one to the door turned to them and, blinded by the light but sensing something, grasped toward Tifa. She screamed and punched his skull in.

At the sound of her scream, some of the remaining clones died, falling over each other in their over stimulation. The rest started to moan, an unearthly and painful sound. Red XIII began to growl at the noise. Cid cussed.

Other clones died. Soon only a few of them were left.

Two fell from gunshots to the head.

"Quit shooting them!" Cloud ordered Vincent. Reluctantly, the former Turk obeyed.

One clone remained.

Everything was still but the disappearing clone bodies.

The clone's head twitched, then it's hooded face turned toward them.

"Sephiroth...Reunion..."

Cloud drew the Ultima Weapon. "Sephiroth! Is he alive?"

The clone gestured weakly with one arm. The black cloak fluttered; they could make out the tattoo on his hand. It read "96."

"Master...Sephiroth..."

"Is there another Reunion? What does this mean? How could Sephiroth still be alive?"

Suddenly, the clone seemed to gain strength. His twitching stopped. Slowly, his tattooed hand drew his hood back. Sephiroth stared at Cloud, his green eyes looking at him and through him at the same time.

"Sephiroth?"

"No, wait!" Cloud stopped Cid from throwing his spear at him. "It's not Sephiroth, it's just a clone of him. An actual clone, not just a JENOVA experiment like me." Cloud stepped toward the Sephiroth clone, keeping Ultima Weapon between them. "What do you want? What are you here for?"

The clone blinked slowly, seeming to gather it's thoughts. Then something seemed to overshadow it's face. It's expression seemed to hold some of the real Sephiroth in it.

"Do you think that I would die so easily?" he smiled, tight and angry. "There is a great deal you need to learn, Cloud. But you are not ready for the truth."

Cloud relaxed his grip in shock. "Sephiroth! It's you!"

Sephiroth lifted his hand and stared at the back of it. "This body is an imperfect replica. It is unsuited to my needs. 96th version. Hmph." He frowned, then looked up at Cloud. "You understand so little. I am the rightful heir to this Planet. I will always come back to claim her. It has nothing to do with you." His grin widened almost insanely.

Filled with rage, Cloud attacked Sephiroth, but not before the presence left the clone witless. The clone died, its pieces vanishing against the stone floor.

Cloud leaned on his sword. "What...is going on...? It can't be possible. This is a nightmare..."

"Cloud." Tifa sounded frightened. "Is...is it going to start...all over again?

"#!#. This is bad."

"That was...Sephiroth?" Vincent asked.

Red XIII answered, "It was a clone, but I think that some of it was the Sephiroth showing through. Although Sephiroth should be dead..."

Vincent's voice was final. "I have decided to accompany you. You will have use of my skills as a former Turk."

"Why not? We'll need all the help we can get, I think." Tifa sounded melancholy.

Cloud was suspicious. "There's something very strange about you that I don't trust, but I suppose we've dealt with that before with Cait Sith. I have to ask you, though, what you have to do with all this. I don't believe that you were just a traveler staying here. You're appearance says otherwise."

Vincent reloaded the Quicksilver as he spoke. "I have a personal vendetta against Hojo." He clicked his mechanical fingers together. "I was...one of his experiments. I have... been sleeping in that coffin for thirty-two years."

The others digested this little bit of information.

"!#!#," remarked Cid.

* * *

The sun was still overhead and Yuffie was almost out of town. Suddenly, Chubs warked and stopped in his tracks. Curiously, Yuffie looked at a man in a black cloak who was blocking the path.

"Hey, you wanna move or something?"

The man mumbled something and twitched.

Yuffie was nervous. She had to leave the town quickly or else AVALANCHE would catch her.

"Master...Sephiroth...Reunion..."

"What are you talking about, buddy? Spit it out, I haven't got all day!"

The man suddenly exploded into a towering creature, tearing its black robes off. His arms and legs were gray morasses of flesh, growing larger by the second. One limb smashed into Yuffie, throwing her off her chocobo and ten yards away, slamming her into the ground. It slowly retracted with her in its thunderous and malformed paw. She could barely see; her arms were pinned to her sides.

"MAsstterRR...SSephHiRothHHhhHH!" Its other arm ponderously made its way toward her neck.

Yuffie screamed.

* * *

Reviewers

Hotaru170: Thanks for being my first reviewer! It...it brings a tear to my eye!

Mistress Delavaire: Hey! You reviewed three times...Oo. You're the greatest! Ha ha! You're hilarious! 'Vincent cameo!'

Kikyos Killer: (I love your name, I wish Kikyo would die!) Thanks for reviewing so much! You're crazy!

PerfectAbuse: You...you're so loyal! sniff sniff Man alive, I love my reviewers!

Yuffie Kisaragi2: You're name...it's like mine! Muahahhaaaaa! Thanks for reviewing!

not applicable: Thanks for telling me that my chapters were screwed up. I had no idea. But I fixed it, and that's the important thing!

Karasu Kurokiba: Thanks also, for telling me about my screwy chapter managing. And you added me to your favorites! Woot! I'm on somebody's favorites!

the Dr.: Hmmm. I have to go see what Vincent's original weapon he had in his coffin was...(goes to look in game manual...) Aha! It was the Quicksilver! Now I know, and knowing is half the battle!

Aeolus the Soul Hunter: I'm glad that you liked it. Instead of Yuffentine, you think we could we call it Vinsaragi? It could work... (everyone throws tomatoes at GMHY)


	6. CPS and THE RACK

Disclaimer by: 2 Clouds! (From FFVIII and Kingdom Hearts. (You guys remember Kingdom Hearts, right? It's been a few years...anyway, I was playing the Gameboy version recently.))

GMHY: (looks from one to the other) "Wow. Two of them."  
FFCloud: (looks at other Cloud in shock) "What have they done to you?"  
KHCloud: "I'm all angsty inside!" (pouts angstily)  
GMHY: "You're just a pansy. You got beaten by...Hercules..."  
KHCloud: "No one understands me!" (starts crying)  
FFCloud: (shakes head sadly)  
GMHY: "Did I do this to him?"  
FFCloud: "No...it was dang Squarenix!  
GMHY: "And they're jumping on the sequel bandwagon like friggin' Disney!"  
KHCloud: "They gave me a cool cape..."  
FFCloud: "You stole that cloak from Vincent. They made you into...Vincloud."  
KHCloud: "But our personalities clash so much! Ahhh! It burns!" (writhes on the floor)  
GMHY: (smiles viciously) "That's what we get for selling out to Disney!"

Optional Characters  
  
by Great Materia Hunter Yuffie

Chapter 6: CPS and "THE RACK"

"Thirty-two years? That's #!"

The strange man saw the group's stunned expressions and wondered if they could digest the information.

He thought of the Sephiroth clones that had been jammed in the room, their shifting black-clad bodies a testament to the dark will of science and he knew that by joining their group, he had done the right thing. The time for resting had passed. There would be time enough for self-indulgent apathy later on.

This was what he had needed for so long. The calling that would help him to leave the mansion. He would stop Hojo and his creations no matter what the cost.

Perhaps he would even find absolution.

He had never felt so carefully optimistic.

Vincent's fingers shook slightly as he finished loading the Quicksilver. _I need to get a better gun_, he thought wryly. _This one was inches off by only a few yards. Horrible._

The silence had gotten awkward. He eyed Cid Highwind calmly. "Believe me or not, it matters little to me. Nevertheless, I am still going with you."

He holstered the Quicksilver without looking.

Cloud looked troubled. "I...believe you. I have also been one of Hojo's experiments, too, and I wouldn't put it past him. I was kept in a test tube for five years."

"I was also one of Hojo's experiments, if only for a short time. He was a horrible man," Red XIII said quietly.

"Did Hojo...? Your arm...?" Tifa asked hesitantly, then clapped a hand over her mouth, blushing at her lack of tact.

Vincent, not wanting his new companion to feel embarrassed, held out his clawed right arm and touched the fingers together mechanically. The mako energized lights overhead flickered. "Yes, he did," he replied shortly.

If anything, Tifa blushed more because he answered. She looked at anything else but the gunman.

_Human_, Chaos broke through his train of thought like a knife, sounding amused but slightly hurried. _There is something interesting happening outside. I suggest you take a look. I also suggest you hurry._

Without questioning, Vincent barked, "Something is happening outside," and went up the stairs. He heard the other members of the group following him in a confused shamble.

"Wait- what is going -?"

"Will ya quit steppin' on my ! foot?"

When he reached the front door of the ShinRa Mansion, Vincent stopped for two reasons.

The first, less obvious reason was that it was the setting sun was very _bright_ and he was moderately blinded.

He had not seen the sun in thirty-two years.

The second, more obvious reason that he paused was that he saw the ninja girl being attacked by a giant gray monster. They were in the street in front of the mansion, Yuffie held in its grip and screaming hysterically.

"What in the-" exclaimed Cloud behind him.

"It's the ninja!" Red XIII roared.

"The monster is going to eat her!" Tifa took action and ran across the lifeless lawn.

Vincent aimed his gun at the beast's face, but realized he couldn't take the shot. His gun wasn't accurate enough to risk hitting the teenager. He would have to take the shot at closer range.

"Someone help me!" Yuffie yelled. "Get this ugly thing away from me!" A large gray hand was pawing at her neck. It seemed to be searching for something.

Tifa was at the gray monster's feet, pummeling it with her fists. The beast paused and glanced down at the woman.

Gasping, Tifa fell back. "It...it's face! It looks like...I think it's another clone or something!"

The others had caught up with her. Yuffie finally noticed the newcomers were AVALANCHE. "Oh, holy crap," she said, her voice very tiny.

Cloud spoke to the group. "Alright, guys. Try not to hurt the kid too much. We're going to take her in for questioning."

Thus saying, he jumped very high, slicing through the arm of the monster that was holding Yuffie. The girl flopped to the ground, still held in the giant fist, which was now squeezing her in rigor mortis. Tifa and Cid rushed to the girl's aid, the pilot cutting away at the flesh with his spear, the woman pulling with her gloved hands.

The monster was not defeated. Looking ponderously at its attackers, it roared in frustration and pain.

Vincent shot a round steadily into the thing's human-looking face. It screamed and fell onto its back, twitching in agony. Red XIII cast Ultima and the powerful green spell finished the monster off.

Cloud, Vincent and Red XIII gathered around the trapped ninja. Vincent felt mildly disappointed that the ninja had not gotten farther than she had. He had frankly expected to never see her again.

_Chaos. Did you tell me because you wanted us to save her?_ Vincent asked, intrigued.

_Actually, it was a trick. Anything to get out of that mansion,_ the demon responded equably. _You're so gullible._

The ninja girl was finally released from her macabre bonds. Cid grabbed her by the arms and pulled her upright. When he didn't let her go, Yuffie looked sheepishly at them. "Ah, man."

"Who are you and why did you steal the huge materia?" Cloud asked, sounding tired.

To their surprise, the girl burst into tears. "I-i-it was j-just a p-p-prank! I d-diddn't m-mean for it t-to go so f-f-far! Honest!"

Red XIII growled, "I'm not going to believe this for a second. You mean to say you were pranking AVALANCHE by stealing the most powerful materia in the world?"

She looked perfectly pathetic, her eyes a blotchy mess and tears streaming down her face. "I d-didn't th-think you w-w-would g-get so m-mad at m-me!"

Cloud rubbed his forehead in annoyance. "Look, we don't care about your feelings. Just give the materia back."

The girl nodded, sniffling, and pulled the bag from around her neck. "O-okay. S-sure. Th-they're all in th-there."

Tifa took the bag from Yuffie and knelt down to comfort the crying teenager. "It's going to be alright. We're not going to hurt you. What's your name?"

Yuffie sniffled. "Yuffie K-K-Kisarag-g-gi."

Cid puffed a victory salute on his cigarette. "Glad that's over."

Cloud grinned and nodded. "Yeah. That's one worry off my mind."

Red XIII and Vincent were silent, the former because he was still suspicious of the ninja but was loath to give Cloud more trouble, the latter because he knew for a fact that Yuffie was lying through her teeth.

Chubs, Yuffie's blue and overweight chocobo wandered over and wedged itself into the little gathering. Slightly startled, Vincent grabbed the reins before the others noticed. The chocobo eyed him with watery eyes and shook its crest of feathers, not objecting.

Once, Yuffie looked up at Vincent. Their eyes met, hers narrowed in thought and his stayed as placid as twin lakes at sunset. She looked away at Tifa quickly and kept up her crying act.

What was that guy doing? Why wasn't he turning her in?

"I think we should go back to the inn," Tifa remarked after vainly trying to comforting Yuffie. She turned back to the girl. "Would that be alright?"

Wordlessly, Yuffie nodded, but silently cursed in frustration. It would only be a matter of minutes before they found her trick. That is, if they weren't complete idiots.

When they were seated comfortably in the upstairs rooms of the Nibelheim Inn, Yuffie became even more nervous. She felt like she was miles in enemy territory. Red XIII was stretched out on the floor in front of the door, blocking the exit unconsciously. Cid sat in a chair near him, smoking the tail end of his cigarette and trying to make it last. Cloud and Tifa were each sitting on the edge of two of the three beds, and Yuffie had been set down in a cozy chair by a window. The sun had already set, splashing the room with garish red light. The ninja stared out the window (and possible freedom) hopelessly, letting none of her true feelings show on her face. She let her false tears and sobs subside and rubbed her eyes.

The man in red, who had silently saved her skin (or her life. That Cid Highwind looked _mean_...) twice, stood against the opposite wall. Yuffie tried to make eye contact with him, but he never looked at her. Instead, he seemed to look only past her at the sunlit sky as if seeing it for the first time.

"Cloud," Tifa said. "This is all happening too fast and I'm really worried. How can we find out what's going on?"

"I thought all the clones were dead," added Red XIII, his gruff voice echoing off the floorboards.

The leader scratched his spiky head. "We all did. This should have been over two years ago."

Cid finished the cigarette and threw it in the trash. "It's like that nightmare is coming back again." His face darkened, his face looking older than he was. "That nightmare from two years ago. I thought that Aeris had put a stop to all this #."

A silence permeated the room at the mention of that name. Each of the members of AVALANCHE was lost in thought. Yuffie couldn't understand what they wanted with her. _This is ridiculous. They'll probably want to question me in order get info out of me or some malarkey like that._

Cid leaned back in his chair and promptly fell asleep.

Getting bored, Yuffie tried to make the black-haired man look at her without success. Finally, Yuffie could stand the silence no more.

"I should get home," she mumbled, trying to stay inconspicuous.

Red XIII responded without opening his eyes. "You're going to stay right here, ninja girl, until we get some answers. We need to know why these mysterious things have happened. Why the clones have reappeared, why the basement was filled with science equipment, why you stole the materia from my grandfathers house..." here he opened his eyes, pinning her with his one-eyed gaze. "And lastly, why you were just attacked by one of the clones."

Cloud folded his arms, thinking. "That's right. The clones never actually attacked anyone before. "

Yuffie looked peevish. "How am I supposed to know why that thing attacked me? I was just minding my own business!"

Cloud answered, "What you did was really suspicious. You stole the Huge Materia. You were probably going to deliver them to Sephiroth!"

Yuffie was confused. "What the heck are you talking about? Isn't that guy dead?"

Cloud looked thoughtful. "I'm not sure. He may have come back to life. I think he's the one controlling the clones."

Red XIII added, "That clone attacked the ninja...maybe because she wouldn't give up the materia to him."

They all stared in shock at the short-haired ninja, including Vincent.

Tifa looked amazed. "You're working for _Sephiroth_?"

Yuffie felt the situation was getting a little ridiculous. "What? No! You're just making all of this up!"

"Then why was that clone attacking you? I saw it trying to get your bag of materia!" Red XIII demanded.

Yuffie let out a long breath. "Okay, look. I don't know what you crazy people are talking about, but this is what really happened. I was scared that you guys would find me and kill me before I could explain. I stole the materia on a dare, to prove my awesome ninja skills. I ran away here, because I wasn't really expecting to get them, right? And just when I was about to get away from here, that huge monster attacked me. That's all. I don't even know half of the crap you're talking about."

_I hope that guy realizes that I didn't tell them about how he helped me escape. Now we're kind of even._ She met his gaze again but couldn't read anything in it.

Red XIII let out an impatient breath of air. "That story isn't believable. Until we get the complete truth out of you, you're going to stay with us."

Yuffie frowned. "Um...that won't work for my schedule. I really need to get back to Wutai as soon as possible."

Cloud smiled evilly. "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

Vincent turned to look at Cloud. "Excuse me. I don't believe I understand...everything. Could you explain your relationship with Sephiroth?"

Cloud was startled. "Oh, I guess we hadn't covered that for you, yet? Well, it's a pretty long story. But we don't seem to be getting anywhere with her," he gestured vaguely at Yuffie, "so we'll tell you. Then afterward we'll put her on the rack and make her spill her guts."

As Cloud spoke, the sun finally covered itself with the horizon. The buildings slowly lost color, turning red, then dark blue and finally gray and purple-black. The lights turned on outside. Still no one ventured out of doors. Yuffie still had seen no townsfolk in the strange town. _Creepy place_, she thought. The other members of AVALANCHE helped Cloud with his narration. In about an hour, the story was told, with Tifa's and Red XIII's versions as well as Cloud's, but without any input from the sleeping Cid.

"So we went down into the Crater. It was a really long way and we had to fight Dragons every few feet, but we finally got to the bottom. In the center was Sephiroth." Cloud went silent suddenly, looking at his hands.

Tifa looked at him in concern, then continued for him. "First we fought JENOVA, then Sephiroth himself. We fought him for...a long time. But we beat him. We thought we would never have to fight him again."

Cloud looked up. "We still don't know if he's back, Tifa. Maybe the clones are just acting on their own. We just don't know. Don't worry yet, Tifa."

Red XIII scratched his neck with his hind foot like a dog. "After Sephiroth died, Holy was released. Then Midgar was destroyed. But the world wasn't, so we defeated Sephiroth and saved the world. It's all thanks to Aeris."

Yuffie couldn't help but be a little interested in their story. She wished they had given more details. It wasn't every day when the heroes of the world personally told you how they did it. "That's it? What happened after that?" She pointed at Cloud and Tifa. "Did you guys finally get together?"

Cloud looked surprised and Tifa blushed and nodded. "We got married, yes."

Yuffie looked pleased, grinning like a little kid. "That's good then. That's a good ending. Happily ever after."

"Yes, but now it's time for the rack." Cloud punched his fist into the palm of his other hand.

Yuffie's eyes went wide. "Uh, is that really necessary? I'm not going to go anywhere."

"Sure you're not. We're just making sure. Tifa, tie her up."

Tifa obediently retrieved a rope and tied her very securely to her chair. As she did so, (and as Yuffie yelled, "CPS is gonna have a field day!") Cloud explained, "This is how we'll break her. We'll all take watches and interrogate her. The rest of us will sleep, but she won't. If you catch her in a lie, make a note of it. She's really sneaky and I know she's lying about something."

Cloud and Tifa picked her up, chair and all and put her out in the hall. "Hey, be careful! What are you doing?" Yuffie yelled.

Ignoring her, Tifa asked the others what the order for watch would be. They decided that they would take two-hour watches with the first being Cloud, then Tifa, Red XIII, Cid, and Vincent going last.

Yuffie didn't like this plan. She liked sleep. She looked hopefully at Vincent, but he didn't seem to have any opinion at the outrageousness of the situation.

She railed, "Hey! I'm not letting you guys just go to sleep! I'm gonna be so loud you won't be able to get any sleep at all! And the innkeeper will come and kick you all out!"

Cloud smiled, knowing he had the upper hand. "If you don't keep quiet, we'll turn you into a frog."

Yuffie agreed to be quiet.

* * *

Six hours later, they hadn't gotten anything out of her. Ever since she was a little girl, Yuffie had been adept at making up stories. No matter what question they threw at her, she always had a good answer. A good lie, she knew, was one that had a great deal of truth in it. She regaled them with hundreds of tales of her childhood. Finally, overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of her stories, Cloud, Tifa, and Red XIII were convinced that she was a ninja from Wutai who had been dared by one of her friends to steal the Huge Materia.

"!#," was all Cid said when he came in to watch her. He sat down heavily in the chair opposite her.

Yuffie was tiring out and didn't really know how to convince Cid of her innocence.

"Hey, Cid," she said simply. Her eyelids drooped to half-mast.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "This is # ridiculous. If I had been awake when they thought of it, I would have told them to stick it in their ear. I wouldn't care if you were # Ultima Weapon. So this is what we're going to do. You're going to shut up so we can both get some # sleep. Alright?"

During his watch, Cloud had found a bright lamp and put it right by her face to keep her awake. Cid pulled the string, turning it off. Everything went black.

Yuffie smiled at him. "Thanks, Cid. You're a good guy."

He closed his eyes. "Don't mention it. Now shuddup."

Two hours of sleep later, Vincent's turn for interrogation came up. He arose and stepped into the hall. He wasn't surprised to see the captain and the ninja fast asleep. He nudged Cid in the shoulder. Cid came awake with a jerk.

"Ah, #. Must have fallen asleep. It's your turn, I guess?"

Vincent nodded. Cid escaped into the other room and his bed.

For a few minutes, Vincent looked at the sleeping girl. She looked uncomfortable, with her arms tied behind the chair and her chin resting awkwardly on her collarbone. He sat in Cid's chair and tapped on it with his metal fingers.

He reached over and shook her shoulder. "Wake up."

She yawned hugely. "Where am I?" she looked around and spotted Vincent. "Oh, yeah. You shouldn't have woken me up. I was having a really good dream."

He didn't say anything, so she elaborated. "I wasn't tied to a chair and a strawberry shortcake the size of my head was telling me to eat it. And I was just about to, but you just had to wake me up. I know that you're just jealous of my good dreams, but you don't have to be so spiteful."

He still didn't say anything. Yuffie rolled her eyes. "What the heck do you want? I mean, if you didn't need anything, then why did you wake me up?"

Vincent was a former Turk. If anyone in the group knew how to be interrogative, then it was him. He knew that a girl as talkative as Yuffie was would spill the beans on her own, if there was any to spill.

She became quieter. "You never answered me before. Why did you put your neck on the line for me? You don't even know me."

He raised his eyes to her for a moment, then looked away. "Have you ever met...Hojo?"

Yuffie was surprised. "The evil guy from the story? No, I haven't. But you didn't answer my question."

"Why did you need the Huge Materia? What were you going to use them for?"

The room was so dark. Yuffie just wanted to go back to sleep. "I don't want to tell you."

His voice was unreadable. "It was a great theft. No one else could have done it."

She smiled. "Yeah, I guess that's true. It was awesome."

He went on, slowly. "If Sephiroth somehow...had need of the Huge Materia..."

Yuffie angrily shook her head. "I told you guys that I did it on my own. You're just making that up. It's like you don't think I could have thought of it on my own."

His eyes flashed up to hers, catching her in a slip. "So you did...think of it on your own? That fictional friend didn't put you up to it?"

Yuffie began to struggle with the ties. "What do you want from me?"

"I want to know if you are in league with a reincarnated Sephiroth."

She smiled angrily. "Don't you all? I told you that I'm not, you just won't believe me!"

His frown deepened. "Then...tell the truth for once."

"You want to know the truth?" she whispered. "Fine! I'm Yuffie Kisaragi, daughter of Lord Godo of Wutai! I have climbed the Pagoda of the Five Gods and became the guardian of my country! I need that materia, and I won't just let you..." She trailed off, cursing at herself internally.

What was it about him that made her want to tell him the truth? was it just that he helped her out?

"So you...don't have anything to do with Sephiroth..." he sounded thoughtful.

"Not any more than anyone else," she said. "He was the one who...turned my country into a tourist trap. Sephiroth ruined my life. That stupid war. My mother died in that war."

He didn't respond. She looked up at him curiously. "What do you have to do with all this?"

"I was the one responsible for Sephiroth's birth." His voice was bleak. "The only way to redeem myself is to stop him. If Hojo is somehow alive, I will kill him as well."

Yuffie smiled. "I think that's the most I ever heard you say, Vince."

A pause. "If Sephiroth caused you suffering, I am truly sorry."

Yuffie shook her head. "I don't see how anything he did was your fault. It's okay, anyway. It happened when I was really little. It kind of gives me something to work on."

"You are going to single-handedly restore Wutai?"

"Why not?" she asked. "Anyway, I have to. I can't stand to see it like it is now. I'm searching the world for the strongest materia so Wutai will be strong again. I was going to use the Huge Materia to save my country from...tourism."

"I believe you," Vincent said. "The truth always...sounds different from a lie."

"So, can I go back to sleep now? I'm going to be so dead tomorrow." Yuffie looked at him pleadingly.

He inclined his head. "Yes."

"Thanks, you're a pal."

In two minutes, she was asleep. He sat, simply watching again.

Chaos spoke to him. _I am pleased. These few hours have been more interesting than the last thirty years put together._

Vincent closed his eyes. _I'm glad you're amused_, he answered sarcastically. _I'm glad we could be so entertaining._

_Don't be so bitter, human. You knew this would happen eventually._

In reply, Vincent made a noise in the back of his throat.

_I like that one. She is the most interesting. Filled with life._ Chaos sounded speculative.

_She is very young,_ the Turk responded.

There was a minute of silence, and then Chaos spoke again. _I will not be content to live within your body forever. Soon I will lose interest in this little adventure. I will take control of your body and eat every person in this little group and make you watch. Then, I will kill every miserable little human being on the face of this Planet._

_Be quiet_, thought Vincent angrily.

Another moment of silence. _If Hojo is alive, I will assist you in killing him. I will postpone my feast until then._

Then the demon was silent, utterly and completely.

Vincent turned his gaze to the rising sun. The light was white, as bright as death and rebirth.

* * *

Author's Note: "Placid as twin lakes at sunset?" I'm sorry! I'll never write another metaphor again, just keep reading! Ahh! Don't lynch me! CPS, for all you non-American types, is Child Protective Services. The people who take your kids away if you don't take care of them.

Ahaha! I have ideas for this fic that I've never seen before. Crazy and original ideas. I think that they will blow your...uh...socks off? I hope you're wearing plenty of socks. Cause I know I am.

Reviewers: (Yeah! 8! Thanks be to you!)

Yuffie Kisaragi2: looks shifty and mumbles "How did she guess?" under breath Yeah, I have to admit I saw your name on the internet and, um...stole it from you. Don't hit me! I'm sorry! I just had to have it!

not applicable: Thanks! I will keep it up and hopefully won't screw it up anymore. Uh, I need to redo the first chapter anyway. Freaking snap.

Kikyos killer: Kikyo...she um...needs to die... eyes start to gleam Maybe we could hire Vincent to do it? gets bad idea for crossover and wanders off

YokoShippo: (another Inuyasha lover? Go Shippo!) Ah, thanks. You're so...complimentary!

Cattibrie393: Your name is freaking cool. dazed at your awesome name, then snaps out of it Ummm, yeah, I was surprised that no one did this idea before. Maybe someone has, but I haven't found it if they did. I hope I don't find another, much better version of my story somewhere. I think I'd start laughing.

MariQ: Thanks! I think that once a certain pairing becomes hyper-popular (uh, now it's Yuffentines), people just pick a way to do it and characterize them just like the next author. I'm trying to just make them be like they were in the game. So Yuffie's gonna say "heh heh" a lot and Vincent's gonna say "..." a lot. Man, I take the easy way out... ;; Thanks for the encouragement.

Aeolus the Soul Hunter: Two things: 1) I love Alien Ant Farm! (wasn't that song a cover for Michael Jackson?) and 2) What if we called it Yuffent Kisentine? Or Vincie Valaragi? cracks up I could think of a million...! wipes tear from eyes Yeah, the best one is Vincie Kisentine...

Karasu Kurokiba: 5w337 10v3 uv L337 m347, i 10v3 J00! ahem, recovers from L3375p34k I mean, thanks! You're the best!

Attention! Everyone who reads without reviewing! I gotz a project for you!

...looks sneaky...try this pairing on for size...

_**Sephiborougheartrifentineragighwind!**_

If you can tell me all 7 people in that horrible, horrible pairing...I'll...give you candy...and lots of respect! It's kind of tricky, but I wouldn't be surprised if everyone gets it.


	7. Chaos Thinks Yuffie Tastes Yummy

A.N. Sorry, this chapter and all of the rest of my notes for this story, which included the final chapter, got accidentally erased, so that's why it's so late. I was so heartbroken! I had a Yuffentine ending that was IC, dang it! Now I'll have to write it all over! ;;

Optional Characters

By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie

Chapter 7: "Chaos Thinks Yuffie Tastes Yummy"

* * *

Cloud was awakened by a loud, obnoxious noise. Fumbling around the bed with his eyes closed, he managed to find the source, but not before an annoyed Tifa punched him for disrupting her sleep. 

It was a moment before his addled brain understood what it was. He held the ringing PHS to his ear.

"What?" he asked peevishly.

Reeve was on the other end. "Cloud? I have an emergency situation!"

Cloud was suddenly awake. "What kind of emergency?" he barked.

Tifa came awake at that exclamation, sitting up and staring at him with a worried look on her face. "Cloud, what...?"

Cloud waved his hand at her to be patient and concentrated on what Reeve was saying.

"You know that Weapon we found under the ocean? Well, it's attacking Junon right now! We're holding it off as long as possible, but I don't know if we can actually defeat it! I know that Cait Sith would be destroyed if I had it fight that thing alone!"

"When...when did this start?" Cloud rubbed his eyes, desperately willing himself to think clearly.

"A few hours ago. It doesn't seem to like our firepower very much, but I don't think that that will keep it away indefinitely. If we still had the Sister Ray, then maybe we could do something, but...that's impossible now. There's something else, too. I don't know much about it, but Barret called me from Corel and said that Ruby Weapon's doing the same thing to the Gold Saucer. I'm all out of ideas here, Cloud."

"Well..." Cloud shook his head in bewilderment. "We're going to go over there as soon as we can. I guess we're going to pass the Gold Saucer on the way over there. We don't have the Highwind, so it might take some time. You just do everything you can."

Reeve sounded dubious. "Alright, Cloud. You're the boss. I think the ShinRa are holding out on me in the weapons department. I'll go ask Scarlet. !#&#, it's coming around for another pass!"

The line went dead. Cloud addressed the other people in the room, who had all woken up and were looking at him inquiringly. "We've got a problem. Emerald Weapon is attacking Junon Harbor. It started a few hours ago, and our pal Cait can't hold off for much longer."

Tifa was shoving articles in her suitcase. "What are we waiting for?" She glared at Cid, who was still sleeping and shook him by the shoulder. "Wake up and pack! Cid, get up! We have to leave!"

Red XIII, who really didn't need to pack that much, sounded contemplative. "First the Clones came back...then the underwater Weapon is attacking. Something truly strange is happening."

"We'll think about that later," Cloud said shortly.

Cid cursed. "Well, this is just #&!#, isn't it? First, we have to chase after that stupid ninja kid, and now we #&!# have to go traipsing around the #&#&! Planet?"

Tifa zipped her suitcase closed. "And here I thought this would be a vacation."

* * *

Vincent listened quietly to what the heroes were saying in the other room. After a few minutes, he stood up and looked down at the ninja. Yuffie was squinting her eyes in her sleep to prevent the morning sun from penetrating. Vincent stepped behind her chair and slashed through the rope tying her to it. 

"Wake up."

Without opening her eyes, Yuffie began to rub her wrists and make a piteous moaning sound. "That's the second time you've woken me up today!" She squinted up at him and groaned. "I mean, heck, once a day is enough. You just gotta take everything too far, don't you?"

Vincent didn't play along. "We're going to Rocket Town. The group will most likely leave in a few minutes. I suggest you prepare."

Yuffie jumped up as he scooped her chair out from under her. "Hey! Wait...wait! Why Rocket Town?"

The red-cloaked man set her chair against a wall and turned back to her. "The Highwind is there."

"The Highwind?" she asked, confused.

He turned and set his own chair against the wall. "The airship."

Her face was blank.

"From the story last night."

Her mouth opened in an "Ohh" look as she finally got it. Ignoring her, Vincent stepped into the other room, closing the door behind him. "I heard from the hallway," he said curtly to Cloud. "Which of us are going to go with you?"

Cloud thought a moment. "There's a problem with transportation. Only Tifa and I have gold chocobos. Cid has a black one, right?"

Cid nodded. "She's an ugly beast, too."

"There's the blue chocobo," Vincent said evasively.

Cloud continued, "That leaves the ninja without a chocobo, since Red doesn't need one. So, Tifa and I will ride over to Junon because we can go the fastest and will get there in time. The rest of you will go to Rocket Town and call me when you get there."

Cid sighed heavily and stood up. "Let's get a move on, then. Looks like another #&!&# adventure."

Tifa finished stuffing clothes and items in the suitcases and threw one to Cloud. Red XIII stood up and waited at the door for Cid to open it.

There was a dumb silence.

"Where's the ninja?" Cloud asked.

The frayed rope Vincent had cut was lying limply on the floor. There was no sign of Yuffie.

"I..." Vincent was surprised, then slightly angry. "I told her to stay _here_."

Tifa went to the window. "She stole your chocobo," she said, pointing to the small, Yuffie-ish blue blob racing out of the town.

The former Turk shook his head slightly in disbelief. He couldn't help but feel slightly betrayed. He had confided in the girl with the trust of a comrade, and she had immediately betrayed it. Vincent couldn't help but feel a strange polar kinship with her. After all, she had been the one to wake him from his slumber, to ask for his help, to give him a reason to rise from his coffin. It had seemed to be a natural inclination for him to help her.

_You are so easy to manipulate,_ Chaos actually sounded surprised. _She even told you she was a ninja and a thief, and you still trusted her. Do you do that with every woman you meet?_

Pointedly ignoring Chaos, he turned to the others. "I apologize. I should have guarded her more closely."

"You let her get away!" Cloud exclaimed, exasperated.

Vincent narrowed his eyes at his tone. "I gave you an apology. What more would you ask of me?"

Cid's face was blank. "You let her go. Now you gotta go after her."

Vincent was silent, hoping to dear heaven that the pilot was joking.

Seeing his face, Cid grinned. "No joke. If you want to help us, then that's your job."

The former Turk's expression settled into something akin to scorn. "There is no reason to follow her. She returned the Huge Materia, and I assure you that she is no spy."

Tifa suddenly looked startled, as if she remembered something. She dropped her suitcase, unzipping it and rummaging through it until she found the bag that Yuffie had given her. She loosened the drawstring slowly and stared inside for a long moment.

"What's wrong, Tifa?" Cloud asked worriedly.

Her face fell. "I'm sorry, Cloud." And then she handed him the bag.

"Rocks." Cloud expelled an angry breath, then looked up at Vincent. "Cid's right. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to follow her, Vincent. We really have to get moving. Right now."

Vincent nodded slowly. It had been his fault entirely. He supposed some recompense was in order.

"You can take my chocobo," Cid said cheerfully. "She's a brute. I named her the Ugly Beast, if that tells you anything."

"That's hardly...complimentary, chief," Vincent said, disapprovingly.

Cid shrugged. "You'd better #&! hurry, or that ninja'll make it to Wutai."

Vincent nodded again. "Where is your chocobo?"

"In the stables. She's the only black."

As he hastened down the stairs, Cloud threw something at him, which he deftly caught in his clawed hand. "A PHS. Call us when you find her. We may need help with the WEAPONs."

Vincent turned without answer or farewell. He ran to the stable, saw a flash of black and threw the stall door open. The Ugly Beast stared back at him, slightly distressed, an enormous specimen of a bird with bright green eyes that seemed to pierce through him. Vincent grabbed her reins and led her out. She went willingly enough, and Vincent had time to vaguely surmise that it had probably been the airship captain with the problem, and not the bird. He quickly led her outside and mounted bareback, tucking his boots under her wings and holding the reins with his clawed hand. He rested his human hand at the base of her neck to sooth her and convince her not to try to buck him off.

She didn't, so he urged her to go into an instant run, the likes of which only a bred, colored chocobo would have been able to manage. The town vanished in a peal of light, colors shifting around him at a hundred kilometers an hour. Leaning forward, he balanced himself like a jockey, holding the reins high on her head, pulling them slightly for necessary stomach-lurching changes of direction. The sun shot out from in between the spiky mountains, making him flinch; he still was not used to such bright light. Long shadows moved over them, the Nibel mountain range was passing swiftly to their right.

_So, she is in league with Hojo and Sephiroth,_ Chaos surmised._ She took the materia._

_I don't think that she is,_ Vincent replied, at length._ I think something else is driving her actions._

_I would love to eat her,_ said Chaos suddenly.

_What?_ Vincent was horrified, mostly because Chaos had sent him mental pictures.

_I can always tell if my food is lying or not._ Chaos' tone was bland._ I think I will eat her._

_That's...disgusting,_ Vincent replied, hisexpression stony.

_And when I do,_ Chaos continued,_ I will be generous and allow you to take control for a moment, so you can feel the texture of her young flesh and the taste of her sweet blood. I believe you would enjoy it. There is nothing like consuming a sentient creature._

Vincent shuddered, the images swimming in his brain the product of the demon's unashamed, Freudian cravings.

_How do you know some of those thoughts are not yours alone, human?_ Chaos whispered sibilantly.

And then he saw her. The ninja was paused at the edge of the sea, looking ahead of her, deep in thought.

_Foolish girl. She should not have stopped. I think we should eat her as punishment._

_Will you be quiet for once?_ Vincent snapped.

Then she heard him, and she twisted around in the saddle with a fearful expression on her young face.

"Stop!" Vincent shouted, drawing his Quicksilver, still moving at full speed.

The ninja's chocobo warked as she kicked him hard in the sides, still looking back at Vincent. The blue broke into a run, skimming over the water like a skipped stone.

And for some reason, the Ugly Beast stopped dead in her tracks at the edge of the sea.

"Stop!" he cried again, firing off a warning shot.

Surprisingly, the ninja obeyed. Slowly, they trotted back until she was ten feet away from Vincent, and they floated there on the water, waiting for him to speak.

"You still have the materia," he told her.

Her eyes widened, and then she glowered at him. "Is that all? I thought something bad happened, the way you were yelling."

He stared at her incredulously. "Something 'bad' _did_ happen. The WEAPONs are attacking the Golden Saucer and Junon Harbor as we speak. You have to return the Huge materia, and quickly."

She laughed skeptically. "What do you think I am, retarded? I'm not going to give back the materia for a lie like that!" Without another word, she quickly turned and raced back across the blue divide, not looking back.

Cursing, Vincent pressed with his feet. Reluctantly, the black started off across the water, obviously nervous about it.

_Faster... _Vincent thought._ At least the black is faster..._

He gained on them by feet, water expelled behind in a great fountain to keep the birds in traction. Vincent pulled alongside her left side just as they hit the beach, and pulled out his gun, sighting at her across the Ugly Beast's withers.

He pulled the trigger, deliberately making the bullet fire right in front of her face.

Yuffie jerked backward, making the blue kick up sand and stumble, hard. The girl almost fell, but she held on with dogged persistence. When they were balanced, still going a hundred kilometers per hour, Yuffie gripped her shuriken and grimly threw it at Vincent with all her might.

It was too close for him to dodge. Eyes widening, the ex-Turk slid down the right side of the Ugly Beast, balancing heavily with his left leg slung across and his clawed hand gripping too tightly around the chocobo's neck, his face near the rushing ground and pounding, clawed feet.

He felt the shuriken graze his back, cutting at his cloak but going no deeper. His gun almost fell from its awkward perch across the chocobo's shifting withers, but he caught it before it hit the ground.

The black warked at the awkward position and leaned deeply to the left to balance his shift in weight, having to slow down. The green shot ahead as he reseated himself, grimly leaning forward to catch up.

And then, as he was looking at the ninja again through the sights of the Quicksilver, moving so quickly the rocks were blurring past, an enormous **something** _whooshed_ to his side. He flinched, turning to look at it. He looked up...and up...

It was an _enormous_ blue WEAPON, a monster larger than anything Vincent had ever seen before. It was flying next to him, very closely and gracefully. His chocobo was shaking, and running as fast as she could, scared out of her mind.

The WEAPON deliberately opened its enormous maw and roared until Vincent's ears started to pitch, and then it struck him with one clawed hand, lazily flinging him from the black chocobo and into the side of a rocky cliff.

Before he passed out, he thought he heard the ninja scream...

* * *

A.N. XDXD I've finally got someone to do battle while racing chocobos! Always wanted to do that! W007! 

I'm sorry, so terribly sorry that I gave into the "giving Vincent a black chocobo" trend. I originally gave him a green, because they're pretty, but when it came to it, he wouldn't be able to follow her across to Wutai or even catch up to her on a green, and I wasn't able to think of anything else. But, in honor of the fallen green, I gave the black creepy green eyes, so whatever. It's a necessary evil, and I apologize profusely. Plus, I guess red clashes with green anyway. XDXD

Okay, so the following people get candy for guessing my pairing: Aeolus the Soul Hunter, MariQ, Viper Girls, StormScarred, KDeo, Ishkie, Tomodachigai, NeonRaine, and RayZor. All you guys get a candy bar or something. keonali, you get like half a snickers for trying. You guys are such good sports, I'm proud of you!


	8. Chaos is Basically a Demonic Punk

Optional Characters  
by Great Materia Hunter Yuffie  
Chapter 8: Chaos is Basically a Demonic Punk

Yuffie nudged Chubs to a higher speed. She glanced behind to check where Vincent chasing her. What she saw made her freeze in shock.

A humongous WEAPON was flying right next to Vincent. It was so big it made him look like a itty-bitty red-cloaked action figure.

"Oh. My. GAWD," she breathed.

Vincent seemed to see it; Yuffie saw him blanch. His black chocobo tried to veer to the right to avoid the enormous legendary monster, but the confrontation was unavoidable. The WEAPON seemed to move in slow motion, lifting its huge arm and casually knocking the gunman off his chocobo. Vincent skimmed along the cliff, then rolled to the ground where he settled and lay very still.

The mounted ninja was moving so quickly that he was out of sight in moments, receding around a bend. His chocobo had stumbled, then regained its footing and, with all the brains of a bird, still ran mindlessly to the side of the WEAPON, trying to outrun it.

Yuffie didn't have time to think. The Sapphire WEAPON was gaining by the second, growing impossibly large as it drew nearer. Then she could see the black chocobo out of the corner of her eye, racing without a rider. The WEAPON was looming behind, and she forced herself to look at it.

She almost blew chunks. _Gawd, it's _**looking**_ at me!_

It lifted its alien hand predatorily, and without thinking, Yuffie pulled back on Chubs' reins and dug her feet into the stirrups, making him jerk his head up and slow abruptly. The WEAPON's hand missed them, but by so short a margin that she could hear the air rushing past. She turned Chubs around and drove him to his top speed. Glancing behind, the ninja discovered that the blue WEAPON was still going the same direction it had been, completely ignoring her.

Wha...? What, so it just knocked him off his chocobo for no reason at all? Does it just fly around, bashing people into walls? What a jerk!

"Just because you _can_ push people around, doesn't mean you _should_!" she shouted at the monster, which by then was a speck on the horizon and probably couldn't hear her.

"Friggin' jerk!"

A sound of trotting made her turn. The black chocobo was still running down the ravine after the WEAPON, basically being stupid.

"Hey, choco choco choco!" Yuffie yelled, trying to get it to slow down, and making Chubs move to intercept it. The black stopped and cocked its head at her. She dismounted slowly.

"Birdie choco-choco! Pretty choco! Come here!" Yuffie rummaged in her pack, and then held out a small purple materia, Chocobo Lure. The chocobo obliged her, entranced by the materia, moving just close enough for Yuffie to grab the reins. "Gotcha! Come with me for a minute, okay choco?"

The black warked loudly, and then Chubs warked even louder, not to be outdone.

Yuffie grinned and mounted Chubs again, leading them back the way they came. She almost did not want to return; it would only be bad news. Either the gunman would be alive and she'd have to start running again, or he would be unconscious or dead, in which cases she would feel obligated to help him or bury him, respectively.

The black chocobo warked loudly when they came in sight of Vincent, who was on his back near the ravine wall, in exactly the same position he had landed in. One arm was curled to his chest and his legs were spread out and his black pants were torn. He had a long gash diagonally across his chest made by the monster's claw, which was bleeding profusely and ran in a thick rivulet until it pooled a few feet away from his body. Yuffie quickly got down and led the birds closer to him, hoping that he wasn't dead.

She crouched next to his prone form, looking at him silently for a moment before stretching a hand toward his neck to check for a pulse. After a few moments, in which Yuffie cringed inside that he was probably _dead because of her_, she found his pulse. Yuffie could see the slight movement of his chest when he breathed, so she guessed that he was still alive.

She leaped up, rifled through one of her blue chocobo's side packs and pulled out a thick bandage and a roll of gauze and hesitated before also grabbing a pretty good potion. She didn't want to be stingy, but she also didn't want to waste her money. It was really a fine line between how little she could spend to heal the guy chasing her and yet not have him die on Wutaian land.

The ninja came back with the items, and, demonstrating a confidence that she truly didn't feel, she unbuttoned his coat, then his shirt, peeling it away from the blood and flesh congealing to it.

Gross-ness!

The blood spurted up and covered her hands. The wound was long and she had no idea how deep it was because blood was pouring out of it like a stream. But Yuffie was ready with the potion and poured the whole bottle directly inside him, until the wound closed a little, with a long, still-bleeding line remaining. Then, she quickly placed the white padded bandage on the blood, and unrolled part of the gauze as the blood seeped through it, turning it completely red.

She went for another bandage, and just as she was placing it on his bleeding chest, the man opened his eyes and _snarled_ at her. Yuffie jerked her hand away automatically. She could see he was trying to move; his arms and legs were jerking strangely and he was making odd noises.

And he was _staring_ at her too, his eyes never moving from her face.

His eyes are like all the blood, she thought, dazedly.

Then she realized that his moving around was shifting the top bandage off. "Hey, don't move, ya' idiot," she said as she set it right, holding him still with her two small hands. The girl looked at him again, and he was _still_ staring at her. It was somehow more unnerving because he was perfectly still, not moving, exactly as she had ordered him to be.

The bandage replaced, she wiped her bloody hands on a rock and sat back with the gauze in her hands. She tried not to look at him because she didn't want to see him staring at her and if she didn't look at him, she could pretend that he wasn't.

Nice logic, there, some part of her mind commented.

Shut up, you, she answered promptly.

"Sit up so I can get this around."

The gunman opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He closed it again, looking confused, which looked strangely childish on his serious face.

"What is it?" she asked, clipping the gauze to the top bandage. When he didn't respond, she moved behind him and said, "This might hurt, sorry."

He made a sound, but then was silent, so she gripped him under the armpits and lifted him up off the ground.

"You weigh like a million pounds!" she said, puffing.

Leaning his back against her upper chest, she grabbed the gauze roll and quickly wrapped it tightly around the bandages on his chest and around his back many times until the roll ran out. Being that physically close to someone that she knew was conscious was disconcerting; she blushed and didn't even want to know how pink her face was.

It's just because I don't know what he's thinking about. Hot stranger + close physical contact an embarrasing situation. It's not that I like him or anything. It would have happened to anyone.

"You should go on a diet or something," Yuffie said between gritted teeth, trying not to think about his soft black hair against her cheek. It smelled like something dark that she couldn't describe, and it was longer than hers, for which she was slightly jealous and very appreciative.

He made a sound again, but it was unintelligible and more like a growl of pain than anything.

By his body language, she could tell she was making him uncomfortable. He kept his head forward so it did not fall back on her shoulder and his whole body was strangely tense.

She let him back down, moving a few pointy rocks out from under him. Then Yuffie helped him put his head down gently, patting his forehead like she would to a small child. "Good job. You deserve a reward or something," she said, trying to dispel the awkwardness that was there because he would not talk.

It was when Yuffie was clipping the gauze in place that he finally spoke, but it was only one word.

"Why?" It sounded as if he bit the word off between his teeth, leaving it barely formed.

She automatically glanced at his face. He was _still _staring at her and she wondered again what in the heck he could be thinking about.

"I...I couldn't just let you die. You saved my butt and I owed you one," she replied, completely serious.

That was true enough. He had been nice enough to lie for her on not one but two occasions. Of course he had also woken her up on two occasions as well, which was a killing offense in her book. So, with the medical attention, she figured they were pretty even now.

"Can you move?" she asked.

His head shook back and forth awkwardly.

She thought for a moment, then brightened and said, "Okay, in that case, in exchange for me being your nurse, you're going to give me all your materia!"

His red eyes became very wide and he shook his head more emphatically and jerkily than before.

"No? Well, if you really can't move, then you can't do anything about it, can you?" She reached for his Quicksilver and expertly popped the materia from the slots, then did the same to his arm bands.

When Yuffie looked at his face again, he was glaring at her so fiercely his eyes were glowing red. She grinned cheekily, finally in her element, and looked at all the pilfered materia.

"What, this is all you got?"

Another glare in response, and he even barred his teeth at her like an animal.

"Barely enough to pay me for my time. What are you, a cheapskate? Anyway, I'll let you keep your chocobo. And here," she threw something at him, a flash of purple that landed with a painful thump on his stomach.

"An Enemy Away. So you don't get eaten by monsters. You'll be able to get around real soon, I bet, and when you do, I want to be far, far away from here."

He said nothing, so she tied the black chocobo's reins to a bush and mounted Chubs.

"I'll see you later!" she paused, then said, "Never mind. Nothing personal, but I hope that I won't ever see you again. I don't need you chasing me around. It's flattering, but kinda creepy, so quit it."

Without another word, she kicked Chubs into a walk, following the ravine deeper into Wutai.

Was it really cool to just leave him there? her conscience mumbled accusingly at her.

Hey, I can't take him with me, he's trying to get the Huge Materia back, she replied, but the reasoning sounded thin to her and she winced.

He said he couldn't move. What if something happened to him?

So what? He's a tough kid, he'll be fine, she thought airily.

But what if...?

Hey, he's a big boy. He can make his own decisions. Unfortunately for him, today he decided to mess with Yuffie Kisaragi and now he's paying for it, she boasted to her conscience, completely ignoring most, if not all, of the facts.

What if he...?

I'm sure he'll be okay. Anyway, he's our enemy, remember? So what if something happens to him? Yuffie asked, choosing to forget that she had just painstakingly bandaged his wounds, which totally refuted her claim.

But didn't you like his hair? asked her conscience desperately.

Conscience! I'm surprised at you! she exclaimed, completely flabbergasted.

So, you **did** like his hair. Good, I did too, said her conscience, relieved.

Then we are all in accord, said her frontal lobes.

Yes, his hair is mighty fine, said her hypothalamus, which was incredibly strange because the hypothalamus is in charge of memory, not judging masculine beauty.

What is **wrong** with you people? she growled. _Just **shut the heck up**, will ya?_

she growled. 

There was immediate silence, but she could sense all of the many parts of her brain silently mourning over the fact that they probably wouldn't see Vincent's beautiful hair ever, ever again.

* * *

Chaos cursed, seeing that the human was going to fly into the ravine wall. Not because he feared for the human's life, or even his own (he always kept a theory that should the human die, then he would finally be freed), but because the show had just been getting good. The world went black for Vincent, but not for the demon, who held a sentiency that was unaffiliated with the human's corporal awareness.

The demon felt reality slowly crumble away, like melting snow, then fall back into place in a new and alien order.

Reality filled his being, and he relished it like a dessert. He realized that his body did not feel normal. His consciousness was filling up different parts than he was used to, from the life he had held years ago. There were no wings, he had no talons, his face was more delicate and _hair was springing from his head _and he had _toes and fingers _and _something _about the human's middle was hurting him _very great deal_.

Completely disoriented, the demon tried to open his eyes. They would not. He tried again, tracing the correct line of nerves to the optical center, then flipping the switch, an act that is simple for newborn babies to accomplish, but not for Chaos, who had only been in control for about five seconds and found he knew _nothing_ of how to control a human body.

Perhaps I should have been paying more attention before, he mused, but the thought was interrupted by what he saw when the eyelids separated and the eyes focused.

The human girl?

He growled instinctively, and was pleasantly surprised when it worked and sound came out. Then, after enjoying her shocked expression for a moment, shook his head mentally and set out to figure out how to move the human's body.

Chaos concentrated on certain areas to find out how to reach them. This resulted in general shaking. Then he realized disgustedly that the pain in the human's middle was worse when he was experimenting, so he decided to leave it off for the time being. Besides, the movements had all the skill and finesse of an infant. It would be better to experiment in a more private setting.

He returned his attention to the girl, who was, he was pleased to see, tending to his wounds. Well, the human's wounds. But until he was free of the human's imperfect body, Chaos would consider it his own.

With nothing to do, he stared at the girl, who was looking at his chest rather obsessively, as if she did not want to meet his eyes.

Or, he thought, _perhaps she just finds the human's chest pleasing._

he thought, 

He automatically bared a animalistic grin, but when he stopped to think about how he did it, he lost his concentration and the expression disappeared. Damn. He was going to more need practice if he was going to be able to pose as the human.

He stared at her face, her throat, her small breasts and narrow thighs as she hovered above him, watching his blood being absorbed by the bandages. Her lips parted; a lock of hair fell into her eyes and she pushed it back behind her ears, leaving a streak of blood on her cheek.

Something was...developing in his body. A heat, a tension.

He wanted to pull her to him, drag the clawed hand through her back, to feel her tremble with soft death throes as he ripped the bleeding flesh from her pretty throat with his dull human teeth...

But...it was not only that.

He wanted to pull her to him, drag his hand through her short black hair, to feel her tremble with virginal trepidation as he raked the white flesh of her pretty throat with his dull human teeth...

He grimaced, he tried to move, to kill her, to eat her, to consume her, but he couldn't manage such complicated movement.

She pressed a hand to his chest. "Stop moving, ya idiot," she said, and reset the bandages, which he had shaken off in his lust to utterly consume her. He stopped moving instantly, going rigid with her touch and the pain rushing through the wound in his stomach. His blood ran red through his human body, quick and stretched like canvas. He bared his teeth.

She looked up at him; he stared at her eyes until she looked away. The animal in him celebrated; even though she was hovering above him, she was still not as dominant in her eye contact, which meant he won.

She wrapped gauze around him, lifting him up from the back. Chaos kept his head forward, instinctively, expecting her to attack him like he would have attacked her. The girl spoke, nonsense really, and he did not pay particular attention to it. She touched his face, and his hair, then set him down on the ground. He could smell her sweat, her fear.

She was clipping the gauze closed when Chaos decided that his curiosity was now much too great to keep to himself. There was no reason for the girl to be bandaging the man's wounds, in any case. It didn't make sense.

He opened his mouth, tried to anti-concentrate, breathed out...

"Why?"

Ah, what an improvement over growling! My first word in thirty-odd years! I deserve a snack for that...

He stared at her surprised face, wondering how she would taste if he ever got a bite of her.

She said something else and he did not really listen, too busy examining the way her throat moved when it vibrated. _Lovely, really._

And then something she asked finally got through to him. "Can you move?"

Could he move? Well, no.

He jerked the human's head from side to side.

Chaos was disturbed to see her eyes brighten with avarice. "Okay, in that case, in exchange for me being your nurse, you're going to give me all your materia!"

Oh, **hells** no.

He shook his head again, jerkily.

And then she proceeded to take all of the materia, leaving him a stupid Enemy Away, which glinted and winked at him from its spot on his chest. And then she left, flashing that damnable cheesy grin behind her.

Damn...that girl.

And then the world spun and his strangely soft head fell back onto the ground. He lost control as the human came back to consciousness.

* * *

Vincent opened his eyes and swallowed.

Wh...what happened? he felt like he was drunk.

For once, Chaos did not seem to have a witty remark.

Vincent sat up, then noticed something purple slip and fall. He stared at it, then at his torso, which was covered in bandages and blood.

Chaos? Do you know what happened? he sent the question, plucking at the covered wound. _How badly am I hurt?_

he sent the question, plucking at the covered wound. 

Chaos answered, but he did not sound sarcastic; he sounded merely preoccupied, as if he were busy doing great things on the other side of his brain. _You are...not mortally wounded... _he trailed off, and sent Vincent the mental picture of Chaos posing like the Thinking Man. He supposed that meant Chaos was being inattentive or thoughtful.

He stood up, grunting. _Ah! My materia! What the hell happened?_

Chaos seemed to shake himself. _The...ninja stole them_, he growled.

He caught sight of his chocobo. Grabbing the Enemy Away, he climbed on an outcropping and mounted slowly, as not to hurt himself more.

Eh...this is going to hurt, riding this beast while wounded.

No response from Chaos, not that he had expected any. But sympathy would have been nice.

So...which way did she go? The chocobo kicked, bobbing its head.

Chaos sent him a mental picture of his tiny body getting torn to pieces. _Mortal. Am I mistaken in believing that you were once a Turk? I was under the impression that tracking was one of the few skills you do posses._ The sarcasm was palpable.

He gritted his teeth. _The job would be easier if I knew which direction in general to look in, monster._

Chaos huffed. _Keep your damnable questions to yourself, mortal. I...have things I need to do._

But Vincent had already trotted the chocobo (carefully so as not to hurt himself) to a spot that boasted many chocobo tracks, and even a few tiny ninja tennis shoe tracks.

What things could you possibly be doing? You are stuck in my mind. You might as well help.

Do not presume **anything**, human.

Vincent paused, considering that. _Alright, then. I won't. So, which way?_

For some reason, Vincent caught the image from Chaos of the ninja getting impaled by spikes. _To the west, you imbecile._

The gunman looked that way and sighed. He checked his gun, reloaded bullets, examined the nozzle.

What are you waiting for? Was it just him, or did Chaos sound a little frazzled?

Trying not to grin, he deliberately holstered his gun, then scratched his head at length.

Get going, human. She will escape.

I didn't know you cared. Scratch, scratch.

I do not. Vincent got the impression that he was sulking. _Now move or I will move you myself. _Otherworldly claws clinked together, hovering over his brain matter.

Vincent got the impression that he was sulking. Otherworldly claws clinked together, hovering over his brain matter. 

Vincent kicked the chocobo and it set off, warking. _I will get my materia and the Huge Materia back_, he thought to himself, or perhaps to Chaos. _And then I will go find Hojo and kill him._

Chaos grinned, a ghastly mental expression. _That is the first thing you have said all day that made any sense._

Vincent winced, clutching his stomach. "Ow," he breathed. The chocobo's gait sent pain shooting through it.

Chaos merely laughed at him, malevolently.

* * *

A.N. So, yeah. Plot development Chaos can now control Vincent's body whenever Vincent gets knocked out. And I guess he isn't going to let Vincent know about this. And also, Chaos is like a lecher or something. I dunno what that's all about. He's a punk. And this story is still giving me SO much trouble since I've lost all my notes. It sucks so bad. This chapter was hecka long, though. So maybe it counteracts its lateness. XD 


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